Adam doesn’t say anything. He’s staring at me with raised eyebrows, and I can just tell he doesn’t believe me. I turn toward Kimmie instead, hoping that she’ll speak up and say she understands what I meant, but her lips are pressed together, as though she’s trying hard to keep herself out of this.

“I’m sorry, Adam. I—”

“It’s okay,” he says, blinking repeatedly. “I get what you were trying to say.”

“Adam, I’m so happy for you. I don’t—”

“You don’t have to explain,” he says. Putting his hands in his pockets, he turns toward Kimmie. “Should we go get food?”

Even as we walk down the front steps and head toward the halal cart, Adam doesn’t bring up the role again. None of us do. I keep wishing I could go back to a few moments ago, that I could take back what I said, that we could find a way to celebrate. But I also choose not to say anything, and before we know it, we’re all trying to pretend that this is just another normal day, even as I feel the distance between us growing wider and wider.

11

THE NEXT DAY, I MOVE QUICKLY THROUGH the hallways at school, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. I don’t really feel like facing Kimmie and Adam, so when lunch hour comes, I stop by my locker as quickly as possible, thinking I’ll head up to the study room on the sixth floor to get some work done. I’ve only taken a few steps toward the stairs, however, when I see Kimmie and Darryl walking in my direction. I turn around right away, hoping that they hadn’t seen me yet, but then Kimmie calls my name, and I freeze on the spot.

“Hey,” she says as soon as she catches up to me.

“How’s it going?” Darryl asks.

“I’m just—”

“We’re gonna go get lunch,” Kimmie interrupts me. “They’re serving cheeseburgers in the cafeteria.”

I shake my head. “I’m not that hungry. I should—”

“Adam’s not coming,” she adds quickly. “He had to go… somewhere.” From the way she looks down, it’s not hard to guess what that means. He must’ve had to go meet with the producers or something.

“All right,” I say finally.

Kimmie gives a satisfied nod, and she leads the way to the cafeteria.

“So,” she says once we’re sitting down with our food in front of us. I’m vaguely aware of the fact that people are looking our way. It might be because they’ve heard Kimmie joined Darryl’s band, but then again, they could simply be wondering what he’s doing sitting with two nobodies.

I force myself to look up at her and say, “So?”