As you can imagine, who would dare let this kind of man, who could lapse at any moment, out of the house on his own? I wouldn’t – after all, who knew what kind of trouble he might get into? Anything could have happened! Consequently, Father never went outside unless someone was there to accompany him, to make sure he was all right, and that he’d come home without causing some fuss or other. He was like a child. If we turned our backs for a moment, it was quite likely that we’d end up having to look all over the place for him. While Ah-bing was at home this wasn’t really a problem, but in another couple of months he would be off to the provincial capital to begin his graduate studies. As I’ve told you, originally we had thought that we’d move to the capital along with Ah-bing (to find new go opponents for Father), but now this was unnecessary – and what’s more, it was impossible. Father being the way he was, how could we take him somewhere else? He could only stay in the courtyard in front of our house! Everyone knew us here: if Father had a sudden accident or caused an incident, people would understand and make allowances for him. It was also safe here. In the provincial capital no one knew us; it’d be a miracle if nothing bad were to happen. But Ah-bing was leaving – I’d be the only one left at home, and I had to work. I couldn’t stay at home and take care of Father all the time. What was I to do? I thought the best thing to do was to go and see Director Wang, but he couldn’t think of any answer either. Mulling it over, it seemed that there was only one solution: Father should be admitted to hospital.

I knew that he’d be unwilling to go, but Director Wang said that this was a directive issued by the organization, and he didn’t have a choice. Father wouldn’t challenge an organizational directive. As a result of Director Wang’s hard work and effort, we didn’t have to worry about Father being admitted to the local psychiatric ward. In fact, he was admitted to the Lingshan Convalescent Home. At first, I was very pleased and happy with this solution. When we took him there and I saw the environment, the conditions and the atmosphere, as well as the scenery we travelled through to get there – well, everything seemed better than I could have imagined. I was overjoyed. At the time, I certainly didn’t realize that within three days my joy would turn to regret. A deep, profound sense of regret …