I didn’t leave. I said, ‘Is it normal for an employee to try and throw her boss out?’

She smiled again. It was an unhappy, cold smile. ‘Just go away. In future if you need to talk to me, do it at the office.’

I didn’t move, and trying to drag out the conversation I asked her, ‘Why didn’t you go back to Beijing?’

She said coldly, ‘Could I go back?’

‘Director Tie agreed, so who could stop you?’

‘Then let’s just say that I didn’t want to go.’

‘You made the right decision.’

She sighed and said with a bitter smile: ‘This isn’t about having made the right decision. I have no idea why I am even alive, so wherever I go it would be the same. At least here I have been able to make a contribution, people respect me. Maybe that’s why I didn’t leave. I am not staying for your sake, or for any other man, but for my own, OK? Do you think you can understand that?’

I looked at her helplessly. Her unfriendly arrogance made me feel cold and strange in a way I had never experienced before. In the past I had often hoped that she would change her ways, but now that she really had, I felt bereft, a pain deep in my heart. However, the real pain, the kind that etches into your bones, was still waiting for me.

The following day, when I went to report to Unit Director Luo, she told me that Huang Yiyi had not wanted to stay, but that Director Tie had ordered that under no circumstances whatsoever was she to be allowed to leave. Director Tie had agreed, so why didn’t he let her go? I thought it was very peculiar. Unit Director Luo said, ‘I have no idea how Director Tie found out, but apparently Huang Yiyi in the course of her work inadvertently became aware of something that headquarters has declared top secret, so if she leaves she would pose an enormous security threat. I’m afraid that she will just have to put up with having to stay.’ I asked what the top-secret information was, but Unit Director Luo said she didn’t know. ‘If even my security clearance isn’t high enough, it must be very important,’ she said crisply. ‘That’s why I always tell my cadres, “Don’t ask about the things you shouldn’t know about, because if you do know then you have to take responsibility for them.” Look at Huang Yiyi! I know she’s desperate to leave, but it’s her own fault for finding out whatever it is, and now she has to take responsibility for it.’