She smiled coldly. ‘What’s the point? There are some things that you need a man for, right?’

‘There are lots of men out there. Why couldn’t you find one of them?’

‘Do you think I haven’t looked? I found you, but did you want me?’

I was so furious I could hardly speak, and yelled at her to go to hell.

She hung her head. ‘This is my own business, but … it is a fact and I … I am not going to deny it …’

‘You can’t deny it.’

There was an ugly expression on her face, and she said quietly, ‘I think that you … shouldn’t punish him like that.’

‘Why not?’

‘It’s too severe.’

I laughed coldly. ‘What? Are you pleading on his behalf? As far as I can see you’ve gone completely mad!’

She was silent for a long time, and then she said, ‘I know there’s no point saying anything to you right now; you won’t believe it. But Zaitian, please can we still be friends? I am begging you, don’t punish him.’

I smiled coldly. ‘So that you can continue your affair?’

‘No. Don’t you think it would be too farcical if I begged you for that?’

‘You don’t find yourself farcical anyway?’

‘If I beg you for this, then I can be at peace with myself, knowing that I have done the right thing: that’s not farcical. I know you wrote those things in the verdict to protect me, but that makes me very uncomfortable. It makes me into someone who doesn’t take responsibility for her own actions, someone whose comfort is bought at other people’s expense. I can’t stand it.’

I cut her short. ‘You’re going to have to put up with it. He has to be punished.’

‘But …’

‘No buts. There is nothing to discuss. You can leave now.’

She didn’t leave but just sat there, then suddenly she shouted, ‘An Zaitian, I hate you!’

‘I know: you were hoping that I’d save your lover, but I won’t. I’d save a dog before I’d save him. He’s worse than a dog!’

She watched me for a bit, then all of a sudden she burst out crying and cursed me through her tears. ‘You bastard, you don’t even dare face up to the fact that you love me … This is all your fault … you’re the real criminal here, you’ve turned me into this … I hate you, An Zaitian, I hate you!’

I stood up and shouted at her, ‘That’s enough!’

She was surprised into silence. I told her in a milder tone of voice, ‘Go home.’

She took two steps and then stopped. Wiping away her tears, she asked me, ‘Do you know where he is now?’

‘You still want to see him?’

‘If he leaves under such a cloud, he’ll hate me.’