It was all a lie, an elaborate cover story cunningly constructed by headquarters. The aim was to give Xiaoyu a secure identity for her espionage work after I left Russia. After her ‘death’ she changed her name and moved from Moscow to Leningrad, giving up her job at the embassy to become an illegal arms-dealer. Just like Comrade Aeroplane she had become a full-time spy. At that time, apart from a few senior people at headquarters, no one was in on the secret, not even Unit Director Luo. To begin with I didn’t even know myself. How did I find out? Well, it was Director Tie who told me. It seems that while he was in Beijing he heard some gossip about Huang Yiyi pursuing me, and so he sent me a letter in which he honestly informed me about what had actually happened. That was the letter that Unit Director Luo had given me. That day I was of course very shocked, but I also suddenly understood why the Party had demanded that I make such a show of bringing Xiaoyu’s ashes home, and why the Ministry of Foreign Affairs had held such a large memorial ceremony, and told me to set up an altar at home … It was all done to publicize her ‘death’ as much as possible. We wanted as many people as possible to know that I had lost my wife; that was crucial for her safety. And the opposite was also true: the more people who knew she was alive, the greater the danger.

That evening I had no choice: Huang Yiyi had pushed me to the point of no return. I had only two options: one was to agree to her demand and marry her after she cracked RECOVERY, the second was to tell her the truth and let her get over it. I chose the second, because I thought the first was impossible; it would hurt her too much. It would have been a double lie, with the damage twice as deep. I simply couldn’t bear it. So I made her swear an oath (that she would keep this a secret and never let anyone else know) in front of a statue of Chairman Mao, and then I told her the truth. She seemed to be very shocked at the whole thing, and watched me in silence. Then she suddenly seemed to explode – she burst into tears, wailing and covering her face with both hands. She ran out, and though I called to her, and went after her, she paid no attention to me.