I am still holding the satsuma – tangerine – clementine in my one hand. His sock is in the other. I look down at these two objects and something strengthens within me (my nerve? My resolve?).

‘I must go and see Mr Huff!’ I announce, breathlessly. ‘I must go. Right now. This very instant. Yes.’

Then I pass him his sock, with my heart … I don’t know … my heart kind of … sort of … almost … Oh God … exploding in my chest, and I clamber to my feet and run – run like the bloody clappers – into the house.

14

Teobaldo

Baldo! Baldo! Baldo! Baldo! WAH!

WAH!

Yay!

[Shrill whistle.]

Pretty boy!

Bob! Bob! Bow!

Bob! Bob! Bow!

Yay!

[Shrill whistle.]

Pretty boy!

Bow!

Happy!

Bow!

Yay!

Look! Look!

Jingle ‘bell’!

[Baldo jingles his bell.]

Tra-lah!

Baldo jingle ‘bell’!

Yay!

H-A-P-P-Y!

H-A-P-P-Y!

Jingle!

[Another jingle.]

Look! Look! Look!

See? See?

Bounce! Bounce!

‘Sun’ in ‘cage’!

Yay!

‘Sun’ in ‘cage’!

Yay!

Bask in ‘sun’!

Joy!

Preen in ‘sun’!

*Joy!*

R-r-r-r-r-uffle feathers!

Brreuuagh!

Blink! Blink in ‘sun’!

Bask in ‘sun’!

Preen in ‘sun’!

Happy! Happy! Happy ‘sun’!

Rock, rock, rock.

Happy!

Yawn.

[One eye closed.]

Bird ‘smile’.

[Other eye closed.]

Bird ‘smile’.

Aaaah!

Happy moment!

Silence.

Hup! Eh? Whassat?

[Eyes fly open.]

Alarm!

Eh?

[Twizzle head.]

Whassat?!

Eh?

Where’d ‘sun’ go?

Where’d ‘sun’ …?

Urgh!

It’s Bitch! Bitch is blocking ‘sun’!

Raaaughh!

Baldo rage!

Bitch is blocking ‘sun’!

Raaaughh!

[Bounce!]

Double rage!

Eh?

Whassat?

[Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce!]

‘*** *** * ****** *** **** ** *****, Baldo? Hmmn?

** ** * ****** *** **** ** ***** *** ***, ** ****?

***** * ***** *** ******** *** ***, ** ***?’

[‘Are you a little bit warm in there, Baldo? Hmmn?

Is it a little bit warm in there for you, my love?

Shall I close the curtains for you, my boy?]

Eh?

Eh?!

What Bitch do?

What Bitch done?

Where ‘sun’ go?

Baldo want ‘sun’!

BALDO WANT… WANT …

BALDO WANT SSSSS … HAPPY!

AAARRGH!

Baldo RAGE!

Why no ‘sun’? Eh?

Where Bitch …?

[Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce!]

Eh?

[Anxious head tip.]

WAH!

WAH!

[Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce!]

Brief pause.

Hmmn. Why Bitch move ‘table’?

What Bitch do?

Brreeeuugh!

[Feather ruffle.]

[Disquiet.]

Why Bitch move ‘table’?

Baldo hates change!

Hates, hates change!

WAH!

WAH!

Where ‘sun’ go?

[Bounce! Bounce!]

WAH!

Baldo itch! Baldo itch! Baldo itch!

Scratch. Scratch.

[Frenzied scratching.]

‘*** ** **** ***** **** *** ******* ** ***** *********, Baldo. *** ********* **** **** *******. *** ** * good boy *** *****, Baldo. ** **********! ****! ******! **! ** *********! **** ****!

** **** …’

Voice fades.

[‘Now I’m just going into the hallway to fetch something, Baldo. It’s something very, very special. You be a good boy for Mummy, Baldo. No scratching! Okay! Enough! No! No scratching! Stop that!

I’m just …’]

Voice fades.

Eh?

[Head tip –

Inches short way up perch. Peers towards door –

Head tip.]

Eh?

‘****! **** ** **! *** **** ***** *** ***** ** *** * *** ******* ** *** *** ***********. *** * *** ******** ***** *** *** *****. *** **** … ***** ** ** … ** ** *** *****. Ooops! **** * ***** *** ** *** ***** ****! *****. ****.