Oh god. Those words had actually exited my mouth, and there was no putting them back in. I avoided his eyes, letting the horror wash over me as I forced myself to fixate on a camera in the corner, as if it were the most interesting thing I’d ever seen. It felt like an hour had passed when I turned back to face him, expecting him to be avoiding my gaze. Instead, he just smiled and stared directly at me, in a way that was so intimate I had to look away again. And of course not being able to hold his gaze only made me feel more self-conscious, and made my brain start buzzing with the urge to move my body.

I went to chug the rest of my coffee, but somehow the cup missed my lip and coffee dripped down my chin and onto my dress. Before I knew what was happening, Hayes had leaned forward with his napkin, but as he tried to hand it to me, his elbow knocked the creamer over, and it rolled into my lap and then shattered onto the floor.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” he said, grabbing my napkin and wiping off the table frantically as cream dripped onto my leg.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way…” I sighed as I blotted up the coffee that had already seeped into my dress. “But this is definitely the worst first date I’ve ever been on.”

*  *  *

When it was finally over, Eliza steered me offstage and back to the greenroom. I flopped onto the couch, eager to hide. As soon as she left, I flipped a middle finger in her direction.

“Dude,” Lola said, running her hands through her yellow-white hair, “that was a small shit show.”

Cleo turned a stern eye in her direction. “Lo…”

“I’m sorry. But it was. Your mom?” She grimaced, mouth tight.

Cleo begrudgingly nodded in agreement. “Okay, yeah. Lola’s right. That was rough.”

“You’re lucky FrannyDoyleDesign.com was available,” Lola added.

“We bought you the URL,” Cleo said, sitting down next to me.

“You two are amazing.” I paused for a breath, letting the madness of the morning register in my brain. “I am trying not to freak out, but I am freaking out.”

“How the hell did that even come out of your mouth?” Lola looked like she was trying not to laugh.

“I don’t know!” I pressed my palms to my forehead. “I just wanted to sound like I had my shit together.”

“I can’t believe they made you sit there for fifteen minutes and fake-date,” Cleo said, incredulous.

“Trust me, it was even more awkward than it looked on TV.” I smooshed my face into a pillow. “I told Hayes it was the worst first date I’d ever been on. Turns out he’s sort of an asshole.”