I shook my head. “I just don’t know how she’d handle it. Any of it,” I said, thinking of the other things I’d kept from her lately. “I’m seeing her this weekend, but I don’t think it’s the right time to tell her.”

I tucked myself into him, so warm and inviting. I could feel the weight of what was unraveling between us, the unspoken acknowledgment that this—this—was something. We were people who shared things, intimate things, deeper than just kissing. All my worries, insecurities, and thoughts of not being good enough, suddenly seemed so pointless now. Because I knew that there was nothing that could compare to this.

“I know it’s crazy that I’ve never been here before,” I said. “But honestly, that’s what I love so much about this city. That you can live here for years and still not have experienced everything. That there are still surprises left. That it’s still…”

I stopped, searching for the right word.

“Magical?” he suggested.

“Yes!” I smacked his leg, and he laughed, my new favorite response to get out of him.

Hayes let out a breath, stretching his arms until they reached out behind us, resting on the edge of the bench and also gently against my shoulders. Warm skin on warm skin in warm air. Heaven.

“God, I love this stupid city.” I leaned my head back, connecting to him with the smallest touch, though it felt like plugging into a socket.

“Same,” he said with a nod.

“Are we doing that thing?” I asked him, pulling my knees into my chest. “Are we being tourists in our own city?”

“I mean, sure,” he mused. “But I think it’s good to look up and not take all of this for granted once in a while.” He gestured with his free hand, waving it like a magician at the city and the river and the skyline stretching out in front of us. I knew exactly what he meant—New York could be overwhelming and all-encompassing, but sometimes—often—you moved through it without really seeing it.

And then his fingers pressed ever so gently against my neck, as if to say “This too.” It sent a jolt through the parts of my body I often forgot existed; I could feel the tendons in my calves come to life. I dared to glance to my right and caught a glimpse of his eyes crinkling into a smile as he stared straight ahead. He kept finding new ways to drive me crazy, and I didn’t mind it. Not one bit.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Two

Hayes