When Jack had gone I made myself busy with cups and Marmite toast, which was what Tony and I always used to eat for Sunday tea. He laughed when he saw me taking the jar out of the cupboard. ‘You’re such a creature of habit, Sadie.’

‘No, I’m not. Not any more.’ I didn’t really know whether I was or not. Habit seemed to have been forcibly taken away from me in the last few weeks.

I laid the tray and carried it over to the stool next to the sofa where Tony was sitting. He moved up to make room for me and I sat down next to him. It felt normal to be sitting knee to knee, passing cups and plates. Comfortable, even.

‘How was he?’ I asked.

‘Moody, I suppose that’s the word.’

‘No, really?’

‘Oh, come on, Sade, don’t be sarky.’ Tony chewed his toast. ‘Is it girls, do you think?’

‘No, I don’t. Listen, I wish it was anything half as normal as that. I wish he had any friends at all, let alone a premature interest in the opposite sex.’

‘He’s twelve. I was interested in girls when I was twelve.’

‘I know, Tony. You’re not Jack, though, are you?’

‘I wish I was twelve again.’

I laughed and he shrugged in protest. He was much more creased and tired-looking than he used to be, but otherwise Tony was always the same. He was good-humoured, fundamentally optimistic and admirably loyal, even to me.

‘How’s work?’ I asked.

‘Oh, God. The toy account. The client changes his bloody mind every two hours. I’ve got to go to Germany first thing in the morning. What about you?’

‘Quite busy. We could always do with some more, though. I would be happier all round if Jack was a bit easier to deal with.’

‘He’ll be all right in the end.’

‘And you know that’s what Lola says too. She’ll be home next week.’ I was happy to think that there was a whole long summer of her company ahead.

‘She told me. We had a long talk on the phone yesterday.’

I nodded. Lola and her father had always managed to sustain a relationship separate from me. In the beginning, when everything about our divorce hurt more than it did now, I had felt jealous of their continuing closeness and affection but now it reassured me.

‘Sadie, what’s up?’

Tony pushed my hair back behind my ear and turned my face towards his. We didn’t touch each other any longer, except ritually on meeting and parting. Now the friction of his fingertips made me jump and then shiver, and there was the raw feeling again, as if I had lost a layer or two of protective epidermis.

‘Nothing. Why?’

‘How much do you miss Ted?’