I used the silence to help you understand. ‘Dale . . . he . . . well, he hit me tonight . . . and my dear friend died, and I . . . I just wanted to be close to you.’

You stopped and glanced at me, before closing your lids for a moment as if to show how sorry you were. The pacing began again.

I waited, watched you ruminate. ‘Do you . . . Did you love me too?’

You stopped mid-movement, like in a game of musical statues, despite Chopin continuing in the background. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

Slowly you turned towards me. Your face a twisted version to the one I knew.

‘No. No, Constance . . . I don’t. And I didn’t. And I’m stunned that you’d have thought I might.’

The words echoed before infiltrating my ears, my mind, my heart.

Was it the way my stomach contracted as if you’d punched me or my tears I could no longer control that fuelled you into grabbing the tops of my arms, causing the dress sleeves to deflate like burst balloons. Shaking me.

‘What’s wrong with you lot? We had sex. That’s all. For fuck’s sake, since when does sex down an alleyway indicate love?’ Blood flooded your face as you let go, walked away, then turned back, pointing your finger. ‘No, you don’t . . . I got my memory back of that night way afterwards . . . Don’t you dare think you have any moral high ground here . . . Don’t you fucking dare.’

You went to the bedside table and retrieved the pack of cigarettes from the drawer. Lit one as you walked over to the window, hoisted it up, then held your smoking hand outside the room. The influx of cold air was a welcome sensation.

‘Did I make you a promise, Constance? Any promises at all? Tell me.’

‘No,’ I whispered.

‘No . . . exactly. I mean . . . what are you, a teenager? You think because we have sex we must be in love? That I’d want something more from you?’ You blew smoke towards the outside world before removing a particle of tobacco from your tongue.

‘I was in love, though, Samuel.’

You laughed as you flicked ash onto the outside ledge. ‘Well, Constance, that’s because you’re fucking nuts.’

I raised my head, stood up straight. ‘You said you’d only sleep with someone if you had feelings for them.’

You took a hard drag, your words entwined with the exhaled smoke. ‘You know what? I’m done . . . This is insane . . . You’re insane—’

‘And you knew I had feelings for you . . . yet you kept on doing it.’

‘Oh, so this is all my fault now?’ You stubbed the cigarette out on the ledge, dropped the window with a thud and turned. ‘I should have you fucking sectioned.’

All went silent.