Unsealed, the folds were merely placed to conceal the contents. Begging me to look. Despite the wintery weather, the flat seemed excessively hot and I wiped my perspiring hands on my trousers before touching. My first finger slipped beneath the nearest section and I lifted the cardboard. A glimpse of white. I opened it fully. Taffeta, lace, beading. It was beautiful. Your mother was no doubt an enchanting bride. I imagined how sad it must have been for you to look at it. I understood. It was like the diaries. Locked away. Avoided.

I lifted the heavy dress. It was so long and voluminous that even with my arms stretched, part of the skirt remained inside the box. I held the bodice against me. The embroidery delicate, fine. The tiny beaded flowers only visible on close inspection. I imagined myself wearing it. Standing next to you.

The tinkle of something falling to the floor broke my daydream. A pearl had removed itself and rolled across the parquet.

Panicked, I shoved the dress back in its home. Closed the box. Once again draped the clothes over it and shut the cupboard before getting on my hands and knees to find the runaway bead. Finally I glimpsed it under your Ercol drawers. Once I had it in my palm, I went over to my bag and dropped it in. Another souvenir.

I kept my bag with me from that point on, placing the strap across my body so my arms were free. I checked the clock. It was already nearly seven. I envisaged Dale pissed off, fretting, and I resented him for rushing me.

You’d left the bathroom in a mess. I smiled at our similarities. You must have showered in a rush. The cubicle was damp with condensation. The sink spattered with a mix of minute hairs and shaving foam. The smell overwhelming: your soap, aftershave, sweat.

Your swanky toothbrush stood, boasting, on the glass shelf above the sink. I picked it up and pressed the button. It vibrated so hard that I dropped it in the basin with shock. Fingers fumbling, I scooped it out and switched it off again, placing a hand on my chest to calm myself before inspecting it. Still damp, minty like your breath. When not contaminated with booze or sex. I know I shouldn’t have. But the urge was too great. I placed the head in my mouth and gently brushed my teeth. No water, no paste, just you. Transferring you onto me. Me onto you.