I pretended to plait my chin hairs, which caused Amber and Emerald to cackle like kookaburras. Making my sisters laugh has always been my favourite achievement. As they caught their breath, I felt a fierce rush of tenderness towards my siblings. I loved to hear them bantering, just like when we were girls – it was a pleasure I’d enjoyed so rarely of late.

‘What about you, Rubes? Now you’re fifty, are you having your own weather?’ Amber inquired.

‘Yeah. Are you sweating so much you feel as though you’re undergoing interrogation by the Gestapo?’ Emerald insisted.

‘Why have a hot flush when you can have a hot tropical holiday somewhere exotic?’ I replied. ‘One thing I do know is that we’ve raised our kids and paid our dues. It’s time to start living again. Living – you know, the bit between being born and dying?’

At the mention of the D-word, my sisters’ faces froze. I’d momentarily forgotten my fake case of ‘Kev’, and instantly regretted my choice of phrase.

‘Ruby, I just want you to know that if Kev gets bad,’ Amber said, her pained smile spackled on, ‘I’ll take you to that clinic in Sweden.’

‘It’s in Switzerland, you idiot. At least get the country right. She doesn’t want to end up at an ABBA appreciation society meeting for her final moments, for fuck’s sake.’

As my sisters started to flare up again, I placed a calming hand on theirs. ‘Listen. The greatest gift our mother gave me is my sensational sisters. We haven’t been together, just the three of us like this, since we were teenagers. But this time, there’s no parental supervision! We need to make this time count. Agreed?’

Amber lay her other hand on top of mine. ‘Agreed.’

Emerald followed suit. ‘Agreed. So, what are our objectives?’

‘Well, Amber is going to stop thinking about her kids. How many times have you WhatsApped them so far today?’ I snatched up Amber’s phone from the side table and read aloud. ‘Your clean socks are in the bottom drawer – really? You’re an awesome mum. You get your kids to eat salad and don’t allow sugar after four pm. You make them wear sunblock. You do their art homework assignments for them. But it’s time to cut that psychological umbilical cord.’

‘Your other objective should be to eat now and then, and actually enjoy it. One carb won’t kill you. I mean, I can see the three-course raisin you had for lunch!’ Emerald scoffed, poking Amber’s concave midriff.