Legs trembling, I went down the steps, trying not to fall arse over tit, then made my way through the startled crowd. Sally from book club started to clap as I passed. Celeste and Debbie, my two former ‘besties’, joined in, as well as some of the other school mums. It was just a few tentative claps at first, but soon crescendoed to cheering and stomping from most of my female friends, who I was sure must also nurse secret fantasies of running away. I fleetingly imagined myself standing in the alps of New Zealand, France, India, Peru or Switzerland, unable to throw a stick without hitting a retired headmistress, seamstress, stewardess or postwoman on a mountain bike.

I approached the big glass doors looking out over the cerulean sea. I’d nearly made my escape when Harry took hold of my arm. ‘I’m a builder. I’m good at papering over cracks.’

I turned and held him close. ‘Oh, Harry. It’s thrilling to see our kids making their way in the world. And we should be so proud that our parenting’s been competent enough to result in fabulous, fully formed, functioning adults. But, honestly, now that it’s just the two of us for the first time in twenty-one years, do we still have anything in common?’

‘Whaddya mean? Of course we do . . .’ He trailed off.

‘Be honest. How often have you thought, It’s irritating that she’s such a bad cook, but she’s a good mum. I know I’ve said to my sisters a gazillion times, “Harry gets on my nerves occasionally, but he’s such a great dad.” But now parenting’s no longer a daily requirement, what if all we’re left with is irritation? Isn’t it better to get out before that happens and salvage a friendship?’

‘Jeez, Ruby. I didn’t realise the dress code for today was “hearts on sleeves”,’ my crestfallen husband said. ‘Did you have to do this so publicly?’

‘I’m sorry, Harry. Ripping off the psychological bandaid in one quick wrench seemed the best way.’

‘For you, maybe. I can’t believe you spoke to the kids before you told me. That’s some top-notch parenting right there, Rubes.’

‘I wanted to get their blessing before I made my move. We both want different things, Harry, and we have to be brave enough to say it. That’s why you had an affair. And why I followed suit. Besides, I didn’t say everything in front of our family and friends. I didn’t mention the fact that I found your work phone with loads of other sexts under coded, professional-sounding contacts like “Big Boys’ Steel Erection”, “Cox’s Outlet” and “Knobs and Knockers”.’

He dropped my arm. ‘Oh.’