‘Good for you!’ Emerald enthused. ‘Surely, the simple rule should be that if a woman is earning the bacon, her husband should cook it.’

‘And, if a wife is wearing the proverbial pants, he should launder them for her on a regular basis, too,’ I suggested.

‘What every busy working mum wants is an iron man. Not a bloke in lycra on a racing bike, but a man holding the starch bottle and a basket of laundry.’

‘Well said, Ruby! And if Scott and the kids don’t do more to help around the house, well, I’ll be doing what Ruby said, and looking for a loophole in my marriage certificate.’

‘What a fantastic idea! I’m shaking things up as well,’ Emerald pledged. ‘This trip has given me back my self-esteem. And not just physically. Although, sexually, I’ve been like a squirrel, storing up nuts – I’ve had enough orgasms to get me through the winter.’

‘So we’ve heard,’ Amber said, flaring her eyes but smiling at her sister with affection.

‘I want my sex life back with Alessandro. It’s not an unreasonable demand. But he has to work at it too. And, I mean, what’s not to love? Look at these two babies.’ She pointed at her breasts, released from their bikini top and bobbing in the jacuzzi bubbles like two pale puddings fizzing in froth. ‘Otherwise, I’ll also be looking for a loophole in my marriage certificate.’

On cue, one of the toy boys Emerald was avoiding strolled past, flanked by two muscled mates. Emerald’s conquest was an inhabitant of the man-bun brigade – one of those guys who smokes a great deal of dope and believes that crystals are more medically sound than vaccinations.

‘Sit on my face, babe,’ Man Bun said, bragging for the benefit of his brawnier pals, whom he now fist-bumped in turn.

‘Why? Is your nose bigger than your cock?’ my older sister shot back. ‘Can’t you see we’re on a girls’ night?’

I caught Amber’s eye. Our laughter exploded and crackled like popcorn. I didn’t know why I’d ever worried about Emerald and the ‘whaling game’. She knew exactly how to handle beasts of all kinds.

‘So, what was wrong with Man Bun?’ I asked, when he’d stomped off after his unimpressed mates.

‘He kept asking if I was an Aries or a Taurus. In the end I told him that my sign was “Do not disturb”.’

That set us off again. When our laughter had abated, Amber said, ‘And what about you, Rubes?’ She topped up our champagne from the bottle, which had been leaning at a rakish angle in a bucket by the hot tub. ‘What’s been the best thing about the trip for you?’

‘That’s easy. My sisters getting along with each other. And being out of range of our evil mother.’

‘Oh, by the way, bad news,’ Amber sighed.