He clasps my shoulder in his hand. My first instinct is to shy away from the touch, but I shove down the impulse. “You’re a good egg, Shay,” he says with a grin, and suddenly the charming teacher I know is back. “I was starting to wonder if we should switch to Ana’s solo for the scholarship ceremony performance instead of yours, but now that I know you’re willing to put in the work, we don’t have to do that.”

My stomach ties itself into even more intricate knots. Is that what he was talking to Ana about the other day? Did she know he was thinking of replacing my solo and didn’t tell me?

“I’m glad you came to talk to me,” he continues. He drops his hand from my shoulder, chuckling a bit to himself. “I should have known you weren’t a lesbian. You’re too pretty; it would be a waste.”

I freeze into a statue of a Shay that isn’t offended. Mentally, I am gone, gone, off in another dimension where I can tell Mr. B that he can go fuck himself.

With that comment, he gets off the couch and strolls out of the room. He has a lightness in his step that’s so at odds with our conversation.

“Bye,” I say weakly, watching his retreating back.

I sit there long after he’s left the room. Have I redeemed myself? I think so. A deep exhaustion sets in as tension leaves my body.

It’s time to face the truth. Mr. B is manipulative. He knew how I would respond when he said I wouldn’t get the scholarship if I didn’t try harder in rehearsal. And why would he tell me that he was thinking of having Ana perform her solo at the scholarship ceremony instead of me?

He keeps using the scholarship to influence me, and I’m tired of it. I made excuses for him before. When he said that auditioning for the show would be good for my scholarship application, I convinced myself that there wasn’t anything wrong with it. He scared me with the idea of losing the scholarship to inspire me to perform my solo better, but I told myself that it didn’t matter because it worked. Why am I wasting all this mental energy bending over backward to justify his actions?

But acknowledging this changes nothing. I still need to make it through the next two weeks and stay in Mr. B’s good graces. I don’t need to like him to get this scholarship. I just need to make sure he likes me.

Chapter 30