Great, I’ve freaked her out with my weirdness. Amazing end to this night, Shay. “No, it’s totally fine that you asked me to stay,” I say as she stands up from the bed. “I would stay if I could. Really. It’s just my mom is strict about me sleeping over with girls. She makes Lex sleep in the living room when we have sleepovers. I think she’s convinced I’m going to, like, have wild sex or something.” She stiffens when I say this last part, and I swear her face goes a little pink. “Not that I thought we were going to—” I cut myself off. Okay, kill me now. I wish I could spontaneously combust. “Sorry, I made it weird.”

Ana lets out a tiny choked laugh and sits back down on the bed next to me. She’s so close that I slide sideways toward her as the bed compresses under her weight. “You did.”

“Thanks,” I grumble, adjusting myself so I don’t fall into her.

“Was I supposed to lie and say you didn’t?”

“Yes.”

“Sorry,” she says, though she doesn’t sound very sorry. “You’re cute when you’re flustered, though.” She glances over at me, a smile curling at the edges of her lips, and then down at her lap. My brain and body have simultaneously ceased functioning, so I’m not sure what my face looks like. She stands and shoves her hands into the pockets of her sweatpants. “Come on, I’ll drive you home.”

Chapter 26

VALERIA:

Back then I said

I will fly so high for you

I’ll go to the world and I’ll bring back the moon

But now I stand here with my heart in my hand

And I realize this block is my soft place to land

—Lyrics to “My Soft Place to Land” from Bronxtown Brooms

“She said what?” Lex screeches. Her voice is so loud I have to hold the phone away from my face. “Oh my god, she’s gay. She’s so gay. What did you say?”

I moan, shoving my head violently into my pillow. “Nothing.”

“What?”

I heave a dramatic sigh, not wanting to repeat myself.

“Wait, I’m FaceTiming you. This is a FaceTime-worthy event.” The ringtone plays, and I sit up to answer her FaceTime call. My phone creates a tiny illusion of Lex’s face and upper body above the screen. “Oh my god. I’m so excited!” The illusion wavers because she’s flailing around so hard the phone is having trouble capturing her. After a moment, the illusion solidifies, and her mouth makes a little O of surprise. “Oh damn, your hair looks good, lady.”

That gets a smile out of me. “Thanks.”

“So what did you say?”

“Nothing.” I stare up at my popcorn ceiling, hoping for divine intervention. Or maybe a time machine so I can go back and make the last several hours less awkward.