Lewis looks over at Yvonne, and she turns away quickly, hoping he doesn’t notice that she’s been crying. Only when she’s sure he’s not looking in her direction does she watch him. How he takes Kiama in an affectionate headlock and walks off with him. Emma follows too, outside to where his car is parked across the street, the music is playing loud enough they can hear it inside the pub. His brother, Danny, waves as Kiama comes over.

Lewis and Emma talk, their expressions neutral and their body language completely unreadable. What are they saying to each other? It feels so wrong, because throughout all these years, Yvonne’s never actually seen the two of them talk, not since the barbecue at Julie’s house before they graduated. Lewis leans in and hugs Emma. When he releases her, she wipes her eyes before heading back into the pub.

Chapter Twenty-Two

The Place

October 2020

Kiama

They give up on visiting Lake Nakuru altogether and return to Nairobi that afternoon. They find a new hotel, one less fancy than the first but a palace compared to the guest house he stayed in last night. Again, they get rooms next door to each other and settle in. The sheets are turned down and a bath towel twisted into a creepy-looking giraffe sits at the end of Kiama’s bed.

He opens his rucksack and the smell of Kikuyu drifts out, of dust and dirt, of the reused oil from Chick Burger. He hadn’t noticed it smelling so strongly when he was there. His Converse too, which were pale blue when they left Heathrow are now stained with the red dust of the countryside and soiled from walking in the damp muddy verges of Lari.

He had told Yvonne he’d let her know when he was ready to go out, to return to the place where Mum died all those years ago. Doing this was his original reason for coming here. He had read a book about people returning to the sites of their trauma and it helping them get over things. He likes to believe that once he sees the place again, like actually stands there and allows the memories to come back, everything will make sense and he’ll be able to move on.

But now, he’s terrified. What if he can’t deal with the memories it brings back or worse, what if it brings back nothing and he feels numb?

He picks up the hotel phone. ‘Dad?’

‘Oh, I’m special enough for a call now, am I?’

‘How you doing, Old Man?’

Dad sighs. ‘You promised you would call me yesterday. Yet, here you are, a day late.’