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Chapters (42)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for Luan Goldie
  3. About the Author
  4. Also by Luan Goldie
  5. Note to Readers
  6. Dedication
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Chapter Fourteen
  21. Chapter Fifteen
  22. Chapter Sixteen
  23. Chapter Seventeen
  24. Chapter Eighteen
  25. Chapter Nineteen
  26. Chapter Twenty
  27. Chapter Twenty-One
  28. Chapter Twenty-Two
  29. Chapter Twenty-Three
  30. Chapter Twenty-Four
  31. Chapter Twenty-Five
  32. Chapter Twenty-Six
  33. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  34. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  35. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  36. Acknowledgements
  37. Extract
  38. Saturday, 4 May 1996
  39. Chapter One
  40. Chapter Two
  41. Chapter Three
  42. About the Publisher

‘She won’t give up. I give her a month before she books flights to come over. Babe, you have to visit us too. Realistically, none of these other bitches will come out. You’re my only friend with disposable income.’

‘Thanks.’

‘I’m serious. I love you. Kiama loves you too. We are going to miss you so much.’

Yvonne tries to shut the emotions down, ‘You’re getting soppy.’

‘I know. Because I’m drunk and I’m leaving.’

Yvonne turns away, knowing if she looks at Emma’s face she’ll definitely start crying. ‘Come on, let’s go and have a drink with your boring friends.’

Emma is handed a drink as they arrive back at the table, she says thanks and announces, ‘You guys, Yvonne is my oldest friend. She was the first person I met at university. The first person I told when I found out I was pregnant.’

Yvonne slides in the end of the booth. She doesn’t want to start crying here in front of all these women she hardly knows.

Emma sits on Yvonne’s lap and puts her arm around her. ‘I’m serious. I’m going to miss you. I know we don’t see each other lots but I couldn’t have done this without you.’

Yvonne wipes a stray tear from the corner of her eye because despite everything, she’s really going to miss Emma. ‘Stop it.’

‘I love you,’ Emma says, ‘from the bottom of my heart,’ she pauses and looks off. ‘Oh fuck. Is it already past four? Dickhead’s here.’

Kiama stands on a chair and knocks against the glass, ‘Dad?’

Emma sits down on a free stool and holds her glass out, ‘Someone fill me up quickly, please? I’ll need it to deal with him.’

Lewis walks over to the table and says hi to everyone. Yvonne can feel the women glare at him. They’ve probably been told nothing but bad things about him, about how he’s a deadbeat dad who doesn’t help out financially.

‘Dad, you’re so late. Where have you been?’ Kiama says as he tries to eat the rest of the chips quickly.

‘I’m not late. Nana said she would call me when you were done playing. You ready to go now?’

Julie gathers her things, says bye to everyone and takes Emma in her arms, while Lewis looks on.

Eshal leans into Yvonne’s shoulder and whispers, ‘Now we see where Kiama gets his looks from.’

Emma overhears and flips her middle finger up.

‘Kiama, say bye to everyone,’ Lewis says.

He makes his way around each of the women saying goodbye, getting more and more awkward as they grab him for hugs and try to take a few last photos of him and the other kids together.