I clear my throat and shift away a little. “So … there’s something. A little thing. I have it in my head, and I need it cleared up so that I’m not worrying about it for days on end and⁠—”

“What is it?”

I can’t look at him as I draw in a breath for courage and let it out all at once. “I overheard you talking about trading me.”

St. Clare is silent. So silent for so long that I take a glimpse over to make sure he’s still there. Those pretty lips are parted, and the regret looking back at me is all I need to forgive him.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “I don’t know how much you heard, but I know … I know it must have sounded bad. Horrible. And … yes. We were planning that. When you first asked to tag along with us, I was so worried about Colin, and Lars was worried you couldn’t be trusted, and so it … it made sense.”

“Right.”

“But we couldn’t do it. I know that doesn’t make it much better, but we talked about it, and the thought of calling Yanni … of betraying you like that …”

I reach over and cover his hand with mine. “I know. I asked Yanni if you called, and he said no. So, uh, thank you? For not fucking me over?”

“I’m sorry we ever planned to.”

I squeeze his hand, and he doesn’t pull it away, which makes me all hot in the gut. Warm in the cheeks.

Then his stomach growls so loudly I look down in shock. “The fuck was that?”

St. Clare groans. “I haven’t eaten all day. I’ve been too worried about you.”

I reach for my plate and grab a sandwich from my stack, then hold it out to him. “Eat.”

His fingers skim mine as he takes it with a grateful smile. I want to say things with him are easy because the sex is hot and he lets me explore that, but sitting here right now isn’t easy. I’m buzzing. Tongue feeling too big for my mouth. Trying not to stare at him while he eats but catching glances anyway. There’s something taking up space in my chest, building brick by brick and filling all the holes that life has torn out of me.

“Thanks,” he mutters.

I nudge him gently. “We’re a team.”

He likes that, which means I like it even more. I’m still not convinced that I fit with them, but it’s something I’d like to try. I’m always scrambling for my place in the world, and I’d scramble harder if my place could be here.