I can’t have a Perry-shaped hole too. There’s only so much I can deal with before I’m left empty.

And apparently, I’m shit at protecting even myself because I don’t notice Lars has joined me until he grabs my shoulder and pulls me to him. I fold into his chest, hating that I can’t handle all of this like a normal day. Just like he does. We might be best friends, but we can’t be more different.

“I want to tell you everything will be okay, but …”

“There’s a high chance it won’t be?” I guess.

“We’re not going to think about that right now.” His solid arms squeeze me tighter, and it’s not the most comfortable thing, hugging a wall of solid muscle, but it’s keeping me together. It’s not like being in Perry’s arms.

“Have you tried calling Perry?”

“I haven’t.” Because I know if I call him and I end up getting the same deadline as Colin, I’m not going to be able to keep my shit together. I’m not doing a great job of it in general, but I think I’ve reached the point of PTSD when it comes to unanswered phone calls.

“His phone is still off.”

It doesn’t surprise me that Lars has tried. I rest my forehead against his shoulder. “You need to shower.”

“Nope.”

“You stink.”

“I’d rather stink than walk out and find you dead.”

Slowly, I ease away from him. “It still doesn’t feel real. I’m no one important. It’s like … does he really hate us that much? Why?”

“Money makes people do wild things.” Lars drops onto the log, and I let out something that’s been haunting me all day.

“I think I’m scared that Perry might be right. About Colin.”

That shocks the hell out of him. “What?”

“What the hell else am I supposed to think?”

“He’s your brother.”

“I know he’s my brother, but none of this makes any sense, and I’ve reached the point where nothing will surprise me anymore.” The looming woods stare back at me. Intimidating me.

“Sticking your head in the sand won’t change anything. And for what it’s worth, that’s not Colin. Everything is strange, but he’s not the kind of guy to fuck you over.”

“On purpose,” I add.

“Yeah. That.” Lars takes a deep breath, night starting to set in. “We’re getting somewhere. I can feel it.”

I wish I could.

Instead, I’m flailing further from answers than ever.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

PERRY

It takes a while, but it’s really not that hard. I follow Yanni for most of the day, watching where he goes and who he goes with, hoping to catch a moment where he ducks off to the bathroom alone or something and I can threaten him over a urinal.