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Chapters (65)
  1. HIMBO HITMAN
  2. Copyright
  3. CONTENT WARNING
  4. CONTENTS
  5. THANK YOU
  6. BLURB
  7. FOREWORD
  8. CHAPTER ONE
  9. CHAPTER TWO
  10. CHAPTER THREE
  11. CHAPTER FOUR
  12. CHAPTER FIVE
  13. CHAPTER SIX
  14. CHAPTER SEVEN
  15. CHAPTER EIGHT
  16. CHAPTER NINE
  17. CHAPTER TEN
  18. CHAPTER ELEVEN
  19. CHAPTER TWELVE
  20. CHAPTER THIRTEEN
  21. CHAPTER FOURTEEN
  22. CHAPTER FIFTEEN
  23. CHAPTER SIXTEEN
  24. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
  25. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
  26. CHAPTER NINETEEN
  27. CHAPTER TWENTY
  28. CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
  29. CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
  30. CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
  31. CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
  32. CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
  33. CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
  34. CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
  35. CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
  36. CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
  37. CHAPTER THIRTY
  38. CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
  39. CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
  40. CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
  41. CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
  42. CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
  43. CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
  44. CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
  45. CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
  46. CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
  47. CHAPTER FORTY
  48. CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
  49. CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
  50. CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
  51. CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
  52. CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
  53. CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
  54. CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
  55. CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
  56. CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
  57. CHAPTER FIFTY
  58. CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
  59. CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
  60. CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
  61. CHAPTER 54
  62. EPILOGUE
  63. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  64. OTHER BOOKS BY SAXON JAMES
  65. WANT MORE FROM ME?

I’m not sure which option is worse.

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

ST. CLARE

I sent Lars off to bed since there was no way in hell I was getting to sleep. My ears are pricked for any little sound, nerves on edge as the darkness gets darker, and it’s still me here, alone, waiting for someone I probably should have given up waiting for.

What if he’s not here in the morning? Or lunchtime? My chest tightens, and I have to remind myself to breathe. It’s Perry. He can get through anything.

I’m determined to stick to my resolution of trusting him.

It hurts though. Every second of going through this is testing me, and I don’t want to be tested anymore. Thinking of Colin makes it hard to breathe, and now, being separated from Perry makes it hard to focus on literally anything else.

I have no appetite, no patience, and no desire to get my ass off this couch until he shows his damn face again. I need that face.

My knuckles are aching at how tightly I’ve balled my fists on my knees, and when a low hum reaches me, followed by a sweeping light over the cabin windows, I finally let go. My fingers are stiff, but it’s nothing like the tension in my shoulders as I ease up from the dusty couch and approach the window. Lars would probably slap me for not waking him, but there’s something about the sound of the engine—like it’s desperately clinging to life—that makes me sure I’m not in danger.

It’s hard to see outside with the buildup of grime on the glass and the light flooding the trees, but after a moment, the engine cuts off, the lights go out, and I can make out the distinct body of an old Nissan sedan.

The moon washes the person who climbs out with silvery shadows, but I know those broad shoulders. That messy hair. The way he bangs his forehead against the roof of the car a few times before stepping back, scrubbing his hand through his hair, and taking long, determined strides toward the front door.

This weird, heart-floating feeling of relief sweeps through me, and I hurry to meet him there. The second the door is open, I want to throw myself at him and make sure he’s real, but I keep my feet planted firmly.

He jumps at the sight of me before he breaks into his grin. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah.” I couldn’t sleep without knowing you were okay. “I told Lars I’d take first watch.”

He strides past me like I haven’t spent the entire day half-convinced he’s dead. “I’m starving. Didn’t want to stop somewhere with cameras. Tell me we have something here?”