There’s a silence, and during that silence, Emily relaxes. It takes her some time. She’s not in the habit of letting go when she lays down to sleep at night. I hate that for her. When I realize what’s happening, I put a hand on her shoulder and start massaging it.

She sighs. It’s a happy sigh. “Paige had a great time today,” she says as I knead at a knot in her muscle. I want her to relax, if only for a single day. For a single night.

“I had a great time, too,” I tell her. “What about you?”

“It was mostly great.” Another pause. “I wish I’d kept it together when Paige was hiding.”

“You did keep it together.”

“No, I didn’t. I was losing it. I couldn’t even think straight to do the things you’re supposed to do when your kid goes missing.” Her laugh is sad. “You did all that.”

“Did I?”

“Yeah. You’re supposed to tell people what your child was wearing and what they look like and how old they are. I couldn’t even remember. It was just… pure panic.”

I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to dismiss her feelings, but I don’t think anyone can expect to stay level-headed when their child is missing.

Especially a person who’s been through everything Emily has.

We came to Paris for an escape, but danger followed her. It had to feel like hell.

“I just keep thinking…” Emily takes a long, slow breath. “What would I have done if you weren’t there?” I run my hand down her back, over her waist. The curve of her body feels familiar, somehow, and completely new. “Honestly, Mateo…”

She trails off. I wait for a minute for her to finish, then two.

“Honestly what?”

“Honestly…” Emily yawns. “Honestly, I don’t know if it would have turned out okay. If you hadn’t been there. It’s like I needed you, which is scary. But I’m glad you were there.”

“I’m glad I was there, too.”

There’s more I could say.

I would, given the chance, talk to Emily Rochester for several hours.

We’re in Paris tonight, in the dark, far from the things that are happening in Eben Cape. Maybe it’s the perfect opportunity to talk to her. People can be more open when they travel. I sure as hell feel different. I spent the car ride imagining what it would be like if we were a family.

“I’ve been thinking about staying in Eben Cape,” I say.