“What are you talking about?”

“Your wine glass.” I’m holding it so tightly my knuckles are white. “A cut on your palm would make life miserable.”

I put the glass down on the coffee table, frustration beating at my chest. Joe is still going on about our father on the screen. “He’s saying all this like it was an excuse. He’s putting words in my mouth.”

Mateo studies me. “Your dad was an asshole, though.”

“We suffered for years. He makes it sound like every second was horrible. I’m not defending him. Our father. He was a terrible parent. But I didn’t go out and murder anyone because of it. I wish Joe would get my name out of his mouth.”

This, most of all. I didn’t want to hide from the world anymore. That’s why I started writing my memoir. I also didn’t want to be exploited. I wanted to choose which parts of my past to grapple with. I’ve already grappled with the fact that my father wasn’t a good man. Joe is dredging all this up again to make himself look like a victim in the present. It’s disgusting.

“I wish that for you, too,” Mateo says.

It quiets some of my ferocious anger. I didn’t know until Mateo said it that it was one of the only things I wanted to hear from another person. I’m sorry sounds like trite bullshit at this point. I’d be fine if no one ever said it could be worse again in my lifetime.

I take a sip from my wine without crushing the glass. “Thank you,” I say, with its sweetness still on my tongue. “For saying that.”

Mateo pats my shoulder. We keep watching.

It gets worse.

“I can’t help but think that’s why my sister was attracted to Rhys Rochester. There was nothing I could do to stop her from getting married, but—” He swallows hard, putting on an angry, disappointed expression. “I’m her older brother.” A hand to his chest. “How many years was I supposed to stand by and watch him beat the pulp out of her?” Joe’s voice rises. “How could anyone blame me—”

“I understand,” says the interviewer. “It’s obviously an emotional topic.”

“I’m sorry,” says Joe.

“That’s okay.” A compassionate pause from the interviewer. “So… you felt you had to take action.”

“I saved her the only way I could. Rhys Rochester was never going to stop hurting her until he was dead.”

“You killed him to save your sister’s life.”