They’re not only recruiting prospective students to the college. There are also booths set up for sororities and fraternities, for clubs, and even for specific majors. All of them vying for the attention of excited young minds. It’s a stark reminder of just how much older I am than Jane.

She belongs here.

I don’t. If anything, I could be a guest lecturer in the Business Department.

Guilt gnaws at my stomach. Guilt that I’m taking advantage of a woman too young for me, that I’m drawing her into my life instead of letting her be a carefree college student. I know she wants to be with me. She wants to stay near Paige, but what if she didn’t? What if I’d never hired her to be my nanny? If I’d never told her to rub herself off against my shoe? If I’d never defiled her? She’d be like these laughing girls, gathered on stairs and around picnic tables, walking in groups.

Friends. They have friends here. And even if they don’t, they’re standing at the booths, making friends. Jane isn’t doing that. She didn’t even want to come. She didn’t even tell me about the campus tours. I found out when I saw a flyer in the mail.

“Why wouldn’t you go?” I asked her.

“Because it doesn’t matter,” she’d answered. “Whether the campus is nice or not. I’m sure it is nice, but it doesn’t matter. I’m going for the degree. For what I’ll learn and for what I’ll be able to do with that information. It doesn’t matter what the food hall looks like, because I’m never going to go.” But that’s only because of me. She would have gone to in-person classes. She probably would have stayed in a dorm with a bunch of other teenage kids just like her. I’m the one keeping her from that life. I’m the one holding her back.

My phone buzzes. I pull it out. It’s Mateo. He sent me a video. I hit play and it opens up to a news channel.

“Good evening. Channel Nine’s Nightly News is pleased to present an exclusive interview with former detective, Joe Causey, who stands accused of murder. We are going to bring an exclusive interview from the Maine County Jail tonight at nine p.m.” The clip ends with footage of him walking into one of his trial sessions, wearing a suit and looking… well, official. I know what a snake he is, but then I’ve always known what a snake he is, even back when I dated his sister. The truth is, he cleans up nice. There’s a reason why he got away with being a dirty cop for so long.