‘You’re Ellen.’

‘I’m so sorry, I forgot you didn’t have my name. Yes, of course. I’m Ellen.’

32

June 2018

‘OH MY GOD, YOU lived in Rowanbrook back then … next door to the Murphys.’ I stare at Ellen, seeing it so clearly now.

‘Yes. I knew Lily her whole life. I was too young to babysit, but I used to pop through the gap between our gardens to play with her.’ She smiles. ‘I had two brothers but no sisters so I guess I kind of adopted Lily as a stand-in.’

‘And you were at Lily’s birthday party – I saw you in the video.’

‘Goodness, I didn’t even know there was a video of that day. I’d love to see it.’

‘And the day it happened?’

‘I was there. I was playing Hide and Seek that morning. I helped search. I listened to the adults talking in whispers about drownings and kidnappers. I saw the looks they gave that little girl Cora and her mother. I listened on the extension phone when my mum told my gran about a neighbour called Eddie Hogan fighting with Lily’s father, and about the guards interviewing Cora’s dad.’

‘Victor.’

‘That’s it. I couldn’t remember his name at first but then Aoife did, and we found an article about his death. Awful.’ She swallows. ‘It was a really horrible time in Rowanbrook. People were shell-shocked about Lily, and of course the rumours started then. About Victor and why the guards interviewed him. About Eddie Hogan, and why he was so angry with Robbie Murphy.’

I nod. I know these stories.

Ellen continues: ‘One minute, Rowanbrook was the most normal place in the world; full of very ordinary, boring people – at least in my thirteen-year-old opinion. Then suddenly, it was turned upside down and all sorts came out.’ She shakes her head. ‘I guess you never know what people are hiding behind their smiles and their cheery good mornings.’

I nod again. I know this story – this existence – only too well.

She shakes herself. ‘But yes, anyway, here we are thirty-three years later, still trying to figure out what happened.’

This gives me a jolt – somehow I’ve forgotten she’s here to find out what happened to Lily. I need to take care.

‘I’ve been asking the neighbours and googling to find out more,’ I say carefully, ‘but it seems likely she drowned.’

‘Yes – you’ll read next to nothing online beyond the generally accepted conclusion that she drowned. But I found out something recently that suggests that’s not true.’

My stomach twists. ‘Oh?’

‘I think it’s important to say, I was just a child myself. But. Having lived through it – the rumours, the whispers, the stories about Victor O’Brien and Eddie Hogan – it feels like there had to be more to it. And even though it’s all very blurry, between Aoife and myself, we’ve managed to piece together a good chunk of what was going on that morning.’ She pauses. ‘As I say, sometimes it’s hard to tell if we’re really remembering or creating memories. But something happened that day, something that was never made public at the time, and it wasn’t anything to do with Eddie Hogan or Victor O’Brien.’