52

June 2018

MY THROAT IS TIGHT as I listen to Ruth’s stories, as everything is turned on its head. I don’t want to interrupt now that Ruth is finally talking but when she pauses to drink some water, I ask a question.

‘What about the evil eye? I’d started to wonder if Mary was a bit unhinged. If she was harming Lily.’

‘With a drawing on a wall? Really?’

Now that Ruth says it, it feels silly.

‘But why put an evil eye on her daughter’s wall? Isn’t that like putting a curse on her?’

‘It doesn’t put a curse on anyone, quite the opposite. Where did you get that from?’

‘Frances Burke said it. She looked it up after she saw it.’

‘Frances. If that one had a brain, she’d be dangerous. If she did her research properly, she’d know that the evil eye relates to putting a curse on someone, but the evil eye symbol provides protection against that curse,’ Ruth continues. ‘At least if you believe in all that. People who do believe often wear an evil-eye bracelet to protect them from harm. Mary didn’t want to put a bracelet on’ – she stops, as though about to say something else, then starts again – ‘on the little one, so she drew it on the wall instead. To protect her. Mary could take anything as long as Lily was safe.’

‘And did she believe in it?’

‘I think you could say she hoped in it.’

‘And you?’

‘I’m not against using the resources nature provides to solve insurmountable problems. Let’s put it like that.’

I have the distinct impression Ruth is telling me something, but I have no idea what. I stay silent, hoping for elaboration.

‘Enough about that, let me tell you some more about Mary and her life with Robbie. I think then you’ll understand.’

53

June 1985

‘WELL, THE PADDLING POOL certainly went down well with the kids – the whole party seems to have been a great success,’ Robbie said, closing the door on Della and the Stedmans. ‘Did you see the look on Ines O’Brien’s face when she saw the bottles of champagne lined up on the drinks table?’

Mary shook her head.

‘Watch now, they’ll have a garden party next week with twice as much champagne. Such one-upmanship. That woman gives me a pain in my face.’

Mary nodded and ducked her head into the living room to check on Lily. Fast asleep on the couch. She’d never sleep tonight. But Mary hadn’t the heart to wake her.

‘Come on, we’ll have a cuppa while it’s quiet,’ Robbie said, leading the way down the hall to the kitchen.

If she could only have this Robbie all the time. This amiable version who threw the best parties in Rowanbrook and brought her a cup of tea every morning in bed. The perfect father. The husband who bought her perfume and paid her compliments. The good moods that made her think they’d turned a corner. That he’d changed. Because how could this charming man be the same one who hit her? The same one who sometimes hated her?