‘Let’s go back down,’ Robbie said, putting his good arm around her shoulder, which made the shaking worse. Don’t let him guess. Dear God, don’t let him guess what I’ve done.

‘Mary, love, I think you should go home. You’re freezing and exhausted. Will you go for even an hour? Della, would you be able to bring her?’

‘Of course. Fran will mind the twins, I can stay with Mary all night.’

Her husband passed her to her friend, and Mary, limp now, allowed it.

Tom bowed his head, like a mourner at a funeral. They’ve given up, Mary realized. They’re still searching, but in their minds, they’ve given up. Hands shaking, legs loose, she reached for Della, relief making her weak. She could do this. She would not fall.

59

June 2018

‘OH MY GOD.’ I didn’t kill Lily Murphy.

‘Yes.’

‘It was Mary? She kidnapped her own child?’ Not Cynthia?

Ruth purses her lips.

‘Well, technically I kidnapped the child. And as I kept saying to Mary, in her many, many moments of anxiety, she saved Lily. The law’s the law, yes, and legally it was a crime, perhaps morally too. Who are we to take these godlike decisions?’ She folds her arms. ‘But I wouldn’t change a thing.’

‘But I don’t get it – from everything I’ve read about the case, Mary and Robbie continued their search together for months. There was nothing about Mary leaving?’

‘She didn’t leave. She continued the search that day, went home that night, started again at first light the following morning. Lily was safely with me, in my house.’

‘Wow. So Mary knew where Lily was but played the part of the distraught mother? Every single day?’

‘She didn’t think she could do it at first. But after years of pretending her marriage was fine, that Robbie was the golden boy everyone thought he was, lying about this came easily. And the stakes were high. Life or death, I’d say.’

‘Jesus.’

‘Indeed. It meant I had to stay in the house, couldn’t join the search. My ears were burning for weeks.’ Ruth grimaces. ‘The Rowanbrook old guard couldn’t believe I wasn’t bothered helping look for Lily. But I’m a tough old boot.’

‘And what did you tell Lily?’

‘That there was a problem with the electrics in her house and she was staying with me. Mary used to come by every day through a gap in the fence at the end of her back garden. Sometimes early in the morning, sometimes late at night, and as time went on and Robbie went back to work, she’d come and stay all day. She got me a Polaroid camera and I used to take photos of Lily and put them in an old tobacco tin in their coal bunker. She’d write notes to Lily and leave them in there for me to pick up. Anything that made her feel closer during the hours she couldn’t be with her.’ She looks wistful. ‘We were a happy little bunch when we could be together, Mary, Lily and me. It might be hard to believe, but they were good times. I loved having her there. Loved keeping her safe from him.’