‘How’re you doing?’ he asks.

‘I’m OK – I didn’t really know her or anything … it’s just very weird to have seen someone so recently and now she’s dead. You know?’

‘Yeah. I’ve never known anyone who died suddenly like that,’ Mark says. ‘It’s really hit me in a way I didn’t expect. God, I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like for you with the fire. I always knew it was this awful thing that happened to you but when I think how shocked I am about Cora, someone I hardly knew – Jesus, your parents!’

Oh God, I need to stop this. I need to say it. There was no fire! I want to scream it into the evening sky. But how can I? It’s gone on too long. It’s in the foundations of our relationship. Crack that and everything breaks.

‘It’s OK, it was a long time ago. And it’s normal to be shocked by what happened to Cora. In the next few days, the shock will lessen and soon – it sounds harsh – we’ll hardly think about it at all. I promise.’ I top up his wine and force brightness into my voice for the next bit of what I need to say. ‘On a more upbeat note, I called to your mum this morning, and she showed me a whole bunch of childhood photos!’

Mark groans.

‘Hey, you were a pretty cute kid, don’t worry. The funny thing was, that babysitter you mentioned was in a few of them. Like, part of the furniture. Or part of the family – families plural.’ Like a parasite. ‘Cynthia was her name?’

He nods. ‘Yeah, that’s right.’

‘Do you think there’s any truth in the whole thing with her and your dad?’

‘Nah, it was just flirting. She used to flirt with Robbie Murphy too apparently, and even tried with Victor O’Brien, though he was always very sour, if I remember.’

My head is really thumping now. I put down my glass and press my fingers against my temples.

‘Headache?’

‘Yeah. Pretty bad.’

‘Would you not just take a painkiller and go to bed? One tablet won’t hurt. Even martyrs have their limits.’

‘No. I’ll be fine.’

‘I don’t get why you have this thing about medicine. It’s not a sign of failure to take a painkiller or a Rennie or the odd throat lozenge. I know you like to be “strong” but I promise you, suffering on for no reason doesn’t make you strong.’

‘I – I’ll be fine,’ I say again, pressing harder against the sides of my head. ‘Anyway, what was she like, this woman who seems to have inserted herself in every family in Rowanbrook?’

‘When I was smaller, I thought she was fun. Younger than my mother, way more relaxed about everything, let me do whatever I wanted. She was pretty too, I remember that. But then when I was older, I saw her differently. She was kind of … grotty? Like, dirt under her fingernails, bad breath sometimes, a kind of musty smell from her hair? I guess teenage-me saw her with different eyes.’ He laughs a little self-consciously. ‘She even tried it on with me in front of my mates once. I nearly died.’