It’s not obvious I don’t. It’s not like I have much to work with, but once you know what to look for, it’s impossible not to see it. I cross my arms over my chest anyway.

That must be all the answer Salvador needs. “Look, he’s awful. He bought into a bunch of gatekeeping rhetoric before That Day, and all he does is lick boots. Said I was making a mockery of the trans movement for using ‘fake pronouns,’ and I nearly strangled him. Pink-washed colonialism and all that.” A long, angry breath. “Feel free to deck him if you want. I’m sure Aisha would appreciate it.”

I don’t need any ideas.

The night before we head to Reformation, Micah catches a deer. It’s small and withered, tongue hanging out of its mouth. He says we’re lucky it’s small. We’re running low on sugar and salt for curing, so we’ll have to eat as much as we can tonight to keep it from going to waste.

When the sun goes down, we light a fire in the courtyard with plywood pulled off windows across the street. The deer is laid out on a tarp, and pieces are put over the flames, sizzling and spitting. The sniper guard breathes in the smell of cooking meat and turns back to the streets, just in case the smoke attracts attention. Someone runs up the stairs to give them the first pieces.

There’s not enough room for everyone to gather in the courtyard with the fire and Trevor’s fresh grave, so most people stay in the ALC lobby. But Calvin is by the radio, getting too close to it for Alex’s liking and causing a snarling match, so I wander out to the yard and sit by the fence.

It’s a quiet night. The heat of day still lingers, cut by the breeze. Flames crackle, and the sharp tang of smoke tastes warm on my tongue, even through the mask. The firelight itself bathes faces in shades of gold, lighting up eyes that shine with laughter they keep choked up so they aren’t heard. People move in packs, leaning on friends, faces tucked into shoulders and against thighs. It reminds me of the movies I saw before Mom took us to New Nazareth: groups of friends cuddling up, close enough to inhale one another’s air. Erin lingers by Micah, disgusted by the raw meat but taking great interest in the way his hands work the knife. Sadaf wanders out into the grass and Aisha follows, reaching for her arm.