“He went out of town for a wrestling match and was supposed to be gone for a whole weekend, so I snuck out and went to a party with Izzy. He got back home early because it was canceled. We got into an argument about it, and he accused me of wanting another guy. I denied it. He got angry and punched me in the gut with his brass knuckles—it’s what he used every time he beat me. And after I fell to the floor, he climbed on top of me and… you know.” Her words are detached, like she isn’t talking about herself but someone else. “After he fell asleep, I called Izzy to pick me up and told her everything. I moved in with her until I got back on my feet. He tried to get me back by sending me flowers and putting on this good-guy act like he did when I first met him. But I started therapy and my psychologist helped me to see that it was all an act. He’s a narcissist. I took out a restraining order on him to leave me alone, but he didn’t stop. Ryan never gave up. He tried to throw acid on me but missed. I ran to the next-door neighbor and called the cops. He was thrown in jail for a few months, and I moved upstate for three years before I came back.” She breathes in through her nose and out her mouth. “People think that it’s so easy to walk away from an abusive person, but it isn’t. They get worse when you try to leave because they have a fear of losing power.” She wraps her arms around my waist, and I kiss her hair.

I know that all too well. Every time my ma tried to leave my sperm donor, he would beat her so bad, and the only reason why he left us was for his younger mistress.

Then realization hits me like a ton of bricks. When I first fucked Gia, I didn’t think about her needs or what she wanted. I was being a selfish bastard. I thought she didn’t fuck because she was practicing celibacy.

“Wait a minute.” I take my index finger and thumb and rub my eyes. “I’ve been rough on you when I fuck you. I didn’t kn—”

She places her index finger on my lips. “Shh . . . it’s fine. I li—love how we . . . do it.”

“Are you sure?”

She nods.

Guilt yields in my fucking chest. If I had known what happened to her, I would have been gentle. I would have tried to be a gentleman at least. Made our first time extra-special. I’m not a romantic type of guy, but I’ve watched enough chick flicks with my ma to know women think sex is special.

And the world’s biggest dick award goes to yours truly.