There is a very long pause, then he says, “Alana was born two months before her due date. My dad kicked my ma in the stomach because she made the wrong dish for his boss when he invited him over for dinner. And he threatened to kill her if she told the doctors what he’d done to her.” My eyes burn with tears, but I try so hard not to let them flow. “When he left, I was relieved. It felt like I could breathe.”

“Why are you spilling your secrets to me?” My voice is barely a whisper.

“You’ve shown me you’re not using me to get a paycheck. Therefore, I don’t have to worry about you blackmailing me with personal information.” He removes his fingers from mine and taps the steering wheel. “My secrets are safe with you.”

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Gia

With my purple glittery headphones over my ears, I listen to the playlist Gunner gave me. I notice his playlist contains old eighties, nineties, and a very few early two thousand songs.

I tear some tape with my teeth and press it onto the pictures in my scrapbook.

Two things I’ve learned today.

One—Gunner’s cold heart is cracked from his past.

Two—we share a common background. We’ve both suffered at the hands of an abuser.

Gunner opening up about his dad brought up a crap ton of memories of living with my ex. Memories I thought I locked away, but they resurfaced and poured into my brain like it happened yesterday.

My ex stomping me in my stomach because I forgot to pick up bread from the store. Or the time he forced himself inside me when I didn’t do what he said.

When scientists create a pill to forget your past I’ll be the first in line to take it. That way I won’t have to live with the emotional scarring of my heart. Every time I think about him or my past, blood seeps through the cracks of my stitched-together heart.

No one wants you.

You’re a whore like your mom.

I have to fuck other women because you don’t know how to fuck. You can’t even suck dick right.

What are you good for?

You can’t be seen with me, you’re too ugly.

He isolated me from his friends; when he used to throw parties I wasn’t allowed to go with him. I hung out with Izzy on those days.