We pull up to a red brick building that resembles a house with red roofing, hiding behind black metal gates. This is going to be my home for the next three months. Matt kills the engine. Their gazes cling to me as I glance at the building. I’m about to do what I should have done all those months ago when I started to see Hannah. Get the help I needed for my PTSD and lay off the booze that almost destroyed my life. Rainbow once told me that you have to break to be whole again, and she was right. I’ve broken myself time and time again. It isn’t my fault I had traumatic events happen to me, but it’s my fault if I don’t take responsibility for my healing.

They all wish me well as I get out of the car and grab my duffle bag and head up the brick stairway. This is my first step to recovery.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Five

Gia

Three months later . . .

The heart suffers from different sicknesses when it breaks.

When I was treated like garbage, being passed around in foster care, it was sick with abandonment.

When I gave my heart to Ryan, and he shattered it into a million pieces, it was sick with betrayal and loneliness.

When I had to let Gunner go after he made my heart sing like a canary, it was sick with disloyalty.

People never talk about the condition of your heart after it gets broken or ways to fix it.

The last three months have been painful, hollow, and empty. When Alana told me that Gunner was in rehab, a part of me smiled because he took my advice and realized he has a problem.

On some level I’m even grateful he beat the crap out of Ryan because, let’s face it, Ryan deserved it. According to Darien, he’s in prison for beating up another woman, which serves him right.

Some days, it’s hard not to be reminded of Wolf because when I look at Cora all I see is him.

Ever since I moved in with Izzy, she’s been trying to cheer me up by taking me out every weekend. Last Thursday, we went to the Rockefeller rink ice-skating. I fell a few times on the ice, but it was the first time since I’ve been apart from him I laughed so hard my belly ached.

At this time of year, New York City is breathtaking. Holiday lights line some of the streets, the department store windows are decorated, and the Rockefeller Center has their famous Christmas tree up. Joy, happiness, and passion—the total opposite of what I’m feeling on the inside.

My phone dances with excitement on the counter, I turn it over and hit the text message icon. It’s a message from Alana.

Alana: Gunner is here.