“Yeah,” he says, and she gives him a kiss on the cheek then she skips up the stairs.

He walks up to me and kisses my lips, and I smell the whiskey on his breath. That’s all it takes for the gray walls to cave in on me. I pull away from his embrace. Anger pumps through my blood.

“You better have a good explanation about not returning any of my phone calls,” I snap, clenching my fists. He grabs my arms gently, sitting on the couch, pulling me into his lap.

“I lied to you. I went to go see Ryan. I beat his ass, and now he’s in jail for beating another woman.” He stares at me like he won some kind of award.

“Congratulations, you want a cookie now?” Me being around him makes me into a butthole like he is. Like Petra used to say in her Southern voice, You hang around the barber shop long enough, you’ll get your hair cut there too. “What about you missing my calls?” I ask while he grabs my hand and kisses the knuckles.

“I blacked out because I had a flashback.” He says it so casually.

“From alcohol,” I state, and his silence is everything I need to know.

My eyes sting with tears and before I know it, they fall like a river. My heart beat harder than a drummer at a concert and knots clog my stomach causing my gut to hit the floor.

God, I’m a fool to believe I can compete with the liquor. That we will have a shot at something real. I’m an idiot to think Gunner is capable of love. He can’t love me, let alone himself.

I get up from his lap and head up the staircase with Gunner on my heels.

Once I reach the stairs, he grabs my hand. I stop and lean on the oak railing.

“I’m not done talking to you,” he says.

“I’m done talking to you. As of right now, I’m calling off this stupid experiment,” I snap, wiping the tears from my face with my palm. I want him to feel my pain. I want to hurt him the way he hurt me.

“You know damn well our relationship was more than an experiment.” His face scrunches up in pain.

“Whatever.” I should have never fallen in love with him.

You’re stupid, heart. You see what you did? I hate you.

“Whoa. Back the fuck up. You’re leaving me? Because I didn’t return your calls?”

I stomp up the stairs, rush to his bedroom, and gather all my junk I brought here and toss it in my backpack. He doesn’t get it, and I doubt he ever will.

“No, but I should add it to the long list of shit you did!” I don’t believe in cursing, but Gunner has gotten under my skin with his drinking.