“Thanks for the bagels. And the coffee and, you know, the arms.”

“The arms?” He tilted his head.

“Holding me,” I explained quietly.

“We should do that again too.” He leaned in and kissed me.

Whenever he did that, particularly at times I wasn’t prepared for, I swear it was as though all the air suddenly left my lungs, vanishing as though forcing me to pay attention to it, the softness of his lips, and how that was all that was somehow needed.

“Hi, guys!” Noah said casually, walking up the stairs with Jonas in his wake.

I barely heard him.

“Gay,” Jonas said, passing us and following Noah inside.

Ethan chuckled, then pulled away. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

“We do go to the same school.”

“I mean after. Can I see you after school?”

“Sure,” I said. “I have therapy though. But aside from that, I’m free.”

“Ditch.”

“Can’t. I sort of made a promise.”

Compromise actually. It was either never missing an appointment and being at home, or staying at St. Yve’s during treatment. Having taken part in a couple of group sessions during my stay there, I could safely attest that a group therapy session at St. Yve’s was the single saddest thing one could possibly imagine.

“After therapy, then.” He nodded.

“After,” I said.

“We could go get some stuff for the party.”

“Sure.”

He brushed his fingers through my hair. “Talk to you later?”

“Yep,” I said, really hating we were saying goodbye.

He kissed me again, this time for a bit longer.

“God, I love doing that,” he said, pulling away but letting his eyes remain closed for a second longer before opening them. “Bye, beautiful,” he softly said, then turned and walked away.

I watched him for a bit before heading inside, where I was greeted by my mother as soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Hi, sweetie!”

“Hey, Mom.” I walked over and kissed her hello.

“Did you have fun?”

“I did,” I said, unable to hide a smile.

She frowned as though finding it suspicious. How sad when people were concerned because of a smile.

“I can see that. You look…happy,” she said.

“Yeah,” I said, just as amazed as she was. “I guess I am.”

She smiled, her eyes instantly filling with tears. It was the first time in a long time that I could come near such a sentence without feeling as though doing so would turn me into ash.

“I’m just going to go to my room,” I told her. “Jonas came back with me.”

“Oh. That’s wonderful. Should I make something for you boys to eat?”

My mom hadn’t made such an offer in at least three years.

“Um—No need. We’re good.” I turned and made it to the first three steps before she followed me.

“Thomas?”

“Yeah?”