I began strolling along the far wall, just needing to move for a few minutes before I faced Tuck again. How was it that he didn’t despise me? Or…well, maybe he did, and if so, he had every right to. I flashed back to that moment on the plane, the way his eyes had beseeched me, the words he’d used. You know me, Em. And I felt even sicker.

And yes, I did know Tucker Mattice. Or I had. He was the boy who’d broken my heart. And all these years, all this time and it still wasn’t completely healed. It still ached for him. And I’d do anything to make that stop.

Had I believed Charlie’s lies in part due to self-preservation? Had I wanted to think Tuck was capable of unforgivable misdeeds because it was easier for me?

I let out a groan, massaging my temples. I’d made such a huge mistake, and here he was, still protecting me—and Charlie!—as he guided us through death and danger. I didn’t even know how he’d done it after our betrayal. But what I did know was that I was deeply in debt and had no way to make amends or to repay Tuck for what he’d unselfishly done.

chapter twenty-nine

Tuck

I headed back inside from the portable toilets I’d visited after asking Hosea to keep an eye on Emily. She and Charlie had had a fight, and he’d stormed off over to the building across the way. I itched to see if she was okay, but it was pretty obvious she wanted to be alone by the slow walk she’d been doing around the perimeter of the room when I’d ducked out of the building.

Now she was stopped and chatting with a couple of young women. By the animated way they were gesturing and Emily’s smile, I thought they might have recognized her and were expressing their appreciation for her music. I couldn’t help the admiration I felt as I watched her, noting the way she reacted with equal enthusiasm and then said something that made them laugh and bring their hands to their cheeks, like she’d just paid them a compliment in return. So many of the things Emily did reminded me of the girl she’d been. But since we’d set out on this journey, I’d also been struck by the woman she’d become, the one I’d been unfamiliar with until recently. I hadn’t given her a fair shake when I’d first arrived at her apartment. I’d shown up on defense, expecting her to judge me and yet I’d judged her too. And I saw now how much of that judgment had been undeserved.