“As long as you’re watching NBC, that’s fine by me,” Jasmine says. “Gotta keep those ratings up.”

“I’m jealous. Visiting Japan sounds amazing,” Sara says.

“Are you planning to stick around after the Games?” I ask Ryan.

Ryan runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, my plan is to travel around Asia.”

“Ooh, fun,” Sara says. “Where? I’ve always wanted to visit Thailand. Amazing food, gorgeous water, not crazy expensive compared to other destinations, you know?”

“Well, since I’ll be starting off in Tokyo, it makes sense to explore more of Japan first,” he says. “But it all really depends on what happens with Trials.”

“Fingers crossed,” Sara says.

Later, after Ryan moves on to chat with other people, we get another round of drinks. When they’re finished, Sara says she has to get going to her friend’s housewarming party. She invites Jasmine and me along. Jasmine, sorely in need of a real girls’ night out, gladly accepts, and so I do, too. I don’t want to put a damper on her night. We all say goodbye and thank Ryan for throwing the fund-raiser. Sara and Jasmine move ahead while I hang back.

“One sec, guys, I’ll meet you outside,” I tell Jasmine and Sara. Then, to Ryan, I add, “I just wanted to say thank you again for doing all of this. It really means so much to me that you care enough to bring your friends out for our cause.”

“It’s the least I could do, really,” he says sheepishly.

“How much money do you think you’ve raised so far?” I ask.

He scans the room. “Let’s say twenty people, an average of two drinks each, maybe…” He pauses to do the mental math. “Three hundred and fifty–ish?”

That pays for two therapy sessions, maybe three, tops. But I’m still grateful.

“That’s awesome,” I say—and I mean it.

“I’m really glad you came,” he says. “I’d completely understand if you didn’t want to, but it’s cool that you got a chance to see this.”

The emotions I’ve been feeling all day crest. All at once, I’m grateful and bittersweet and nostalgic for what we had together. I have to leave; I know if I stay any longer, I’ll only be keeping myself in a situation primed to make me miss him.

“I think the Uber’s coming,” I say. “Gotta go—have a great night.”

Before I can overthink it, I throw my arms around him in a quick hug. The wave of comfort I get from my body flush against his feels like a shock. It’s overwhelming.

“Good night!” he calls as I hurry toward the door.