Ryan invited me to drink with his friends tomorrow night at Jade Castle, I write. It’s a fund-raiser for EGF.

Her response pops up before I can continue typing: ???

I lied and said I had plans with you. I don’t wanna go alone. But I do think I might want to go. Please come with me? I text.

It sounds so pitiful laid out like that, but I know Sara won’t judge me.

How’s this: I’ll come with you for a bit, then head out to the party once you find your footing? she asks. Slash you have two drinks and feel fine.

That second one sounds about right, I write. Thank you. Love you.

I finish the fish and text Jasmine to join us. She knows, of course, that Ryan turned down Dimitri’s job offer, but I think she’s still skeptical of him—or anyone who would willingly associate with her ex, to be honest. I can’t blame her. I care about her opinion, and I’d feel less guilty over my storm of conflicting emotions toward Ryan if I had her approval of him. I want her take on this situation. I’m strangely relieved when she texts back that Ryan’s fund-raiser sounds amazing. She says she wants to go.

On Saturday night, I arrive at Jade Castle a little after eight with Sara and Jasmine by my side. The restaurant’s lounge is dimly lit and crowded, filled with vaguely familiar faces I’ve seen around town. I spot Ryan standing with a cluster of people by the window, holding a beer and in the midst of conversation with some guys. He’s in a pair of dark jeans and a light blue button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. I don’t recognize most of the people he’s with, but I spot his friend Goose with his girlfriend, Melissa.

I catch Ryan’s eye.

“Hey! You made it!” he says, choking down beer, looking surprised to see me here.

He winds his way through the crowd and tentatively gives me a one-armed hug.

“We finished dinner and figured why not come by?” I say.

It’s close enough to the truth. Jasmine brought over a bottle of wine for the three of us to share while Sara and I dabbed on makeup and put on sundresses. I felt more comfortable coming here tonight with a little liquid courage in my system.

“Oh, wow, nice,” he says. “Can I get you a drink?”

“We can get our own,” Jasmine says, cutting in.

“All for a good cause anyway, right?” Sara says.

Ryan gestures to the bar. “Of course.”

Sara orders a vodka soda, and I ask for the same. Jasmine squints at the array of spirits lining the back shelf of the bar and sighs at the row of draft beers.

“I’ll have a prosecco,” she says.

The bartender gives her a weary look.