“I’m sorry that you grew up like that,” he says in a strained voice. “I really, really am. Please don’t get me wrong. He must have changed—he’s not like that anymore.”

“I don’t believe that,” I say firmly. “And anyway, it’s not worth the risk. Girls who train with him don’t grow up to have healthy, normal lives.”

“Well, look at you,” Ryan says, shrugging. “You turned out fine.”

“Exactly! Look at me,” I say. “It’s been a long road to feeling remotely okay.”

It’s increasingly impossible not to shout. It feels like a match just caught fire in my chest. I ignite with anger. I’ve seethed silently about this in the past, but I’ve never let it all out before.

“Since I moved back to Greenwood, I’ve finally, slowly, just barely started to cobble together a real, adult life that I’m proud of,” I explain. “A lot of that has to do with working with you. But I am twenty-seven years old. Twenty-seven! It took me the better part of a decade to get here. I was reeling. I had no education, no ambition, no goals, no full-time job. That’s not me. That’s not who I was supposed to be. For years, my life just… stalled. And I couldn’t get back on track.”

“You can’t blame that all on Dimitri,” Ryan says softly.

“He’s certainly not innocent. He pushes people down so they can’t get up,” I fire back. “And look at Jasmine. He broke her down so hard, she never left. He’s despicable.”

“Kaminsky’s despicable. Dimitri’s just tough,” Ryan says.

“I’m telling you, what you’re doing is just plain wrong,” I argue. “No decent person would do this.”

“I’m not feeding Hallie to the wolves, Avery,” Ryan says. “I’ll be there with her. I’ll protect her.”

“Does Hallie know you’re doing this? Do her parents?” I ask.

He sighs. His face contorts, but I can’t tell if it’s with guilt or exasperation.

“We’ve been talking about it for weeks,” he admits. “I didn’t include you in the discussions because I knew you would never work with Dimitri.”

My anger blooms into rage, then betrayal.

“And when did you think you’d tell me?” I ask. My voice breaks. “I’m not just your coworker. This isn’t about you ditching your job. I’m your girlfriend, Ryan. You’re supposed to tell me things, not go behind my back.”

He sighs. “I’m sorry for not telling you about my plans sooner.”

I shake my head. I’m too overwhelmed to speak. What is there to say? I don’t recognize the person I’m arguing with.

“I feel so stupid,” I say finally.

“Why?” he asks.

I shudder and the words slip out before I can register what I’m saying.