Chapters (232)
- He Who Fights With Monsters
- ALSO IN SERIES
- 1. Strange Business
- Strange Business
- 2. Of Course Magic is a Thing
- Of Course Magic is a Thing
- 3. Local Cuisine
- Local Cuisine
- 4. Cannibals and Spelunking
- Cannibals and Spelunking
- 5. Wizard
- Wizard
- 6. Potent Potable
- Potent Potable
- 7. Spoils
- Spoils
- 8. Dark Magic
- Dark Magic
- 9. Escape
- Escape
- 10. The Evil Pit of Evil
- The Evil Pit of Evil
- 11. Dashing Heroics
- Dashing Heroics
- 12. Sanguine Horror
- Sanguine Horror
- 13. This is the Part Where We Step Back
- This is the Part Where We Step Back
- 14. Worlds Apart
- Worlds Apart
- 15. Outworlder
- Outworlder
- 16. Rescue Party
- Rescue Party
- 17. A Conservative Pillage
- A Conservative Pillage
- 18. One of Us
- One of Us
- 19. I Want a Lava Cannon
- I Want a Lava Cannon
- 20. By the Power of Grayskull
- By the Power of Grayskull
- 21. I Have the Power
- I Have the Power
- 22. Apocalypse Stone
- Apocalypse Stone
- 23. I May have Made a Huge Mistake
- I May have Made a Huge Mistake
- 24. Astral Space
- Astral Space
- 25. Blasphemy is Kind of My Thing
- Blasphemy is Kind of My Thing
- 26. Waterfall
- Waterfall
- 27. Water, Fall
- Water, Fall
- 28. How Did You All Fit In There?
- How Did You All Fit In There?
- 29. That’s What Adventurers Do
- That’s What Adventurers Do
- 30. Closing the Door Too Hard
- Closing the Door Too Hard
- 31. Taming the Beast
- Taming the Beast
- 32. Monster Hunting For Beginners
- Monster Hunting For Beginners
- 33. Mistrun River
- Mistrun River
- 34. Waving the Flag For Secular Morality
- Waving the Flag For Secular Morality
- 35. Greenstone
- Greenstone
- 36. The Island
- The Island
- 37. A Good Adventurer and a Great One
- A Good Adventurer and a Great One
- 38. Just Another Adventurer
- Just Another Adventurer
- 39. Training
- Training
- 40. Eyebeams and the Ethics of Adventuring
- Eyebeams and the Ethics of Adventuring
- 41. Vulnerable and Exposed
- Vulnerable and Exposed
- 42. This is the Pits
- This is the Pits
- 43. Nightingale
- Nightingale
- 44. Complimentary Ointment
- Complimentary Ointment
- 45. So Much For Atheism
- So Much For Atheism
- 46. Blatant Manipulation
- Blatant Manipulation
- 47. Mirage Chamber
- Mirage Chamber
- 48. An Endless, Inescapable Nightmare
- An Endless, Inescapable Nightmare
- 49. A Voice From Home
- A Voice From Home
- 50. The Full Keanu
- The Full Keanu
- 51. Song of the Nightingale
- Song of the Nightingale
- 52. Pain
- Pain
- 53. Nightlife
- Nightlife
- 54. Field Assessment
- Field Assessment
- 55. Rune Tortoise
- Rune Tortoise
- 56. Gary’s Gift
- Gary’s Gift
- 57. Rainbow Smoke
- Rainbow Smoke
- 58. A Man of Malevolent Intellect
- A Man of Malevolent Intellect
- 59. Falling Short
- Falling Short
- 60. Making Music
- Making Music
- 61. Trade Hall
- Trade Hall
- 62. Have Some Damn Adventures
- Have Some Damn Adventures
- 63. Sunk-Cost Fallacy
- Sunk-Cost Fallacy
- 64. Take My Wife, Please
- Take My Wife, Please
- 65. Curious Urges
- Curious Urges
- 66. A Stronger Weapon Than the One in Your Hand
- A Stronger Weapon Than the One in Your Hand
- 67. This is What it Means to Fight Me
- This is What it Means to Fight Me
- 68. Good News For Clive
- Good News For Clive
- 69. Dumpling Soup
- Dumpling Soup
- 70. Rewards
- Rewards
- 71. A Bit of Poo
- A Bit of Poo
- 72. Rat Race
- Rat Race
- 73. A Grim Sword to Live By
- A Grim Sword to Live By
- 74. Doing Better
- Doing Better
- 75. Progress
- Progress
- 76. Preparations
- Preparations
- 77. Group Cohesion
- Group Cohesion
- 78. Jason Has the Good Biscuits
- Jason Has the Good Biscuits
- 79. Sand Everywhere
- Sand Everywhere
- 80. It’s Not Work if You Love What You Do
- It’s Not Work if You Love What You Do
- 81. Crazy Desperation Move
- Crazy Desperation Move
- 82. Choices
- Choices
- 83. It Makes No Difference to the Ant
- It Makes No Difference to the Ant
- 84. Injury & Death
- Injury & Death
- 85. Because I’m an Adventurer
- Because I’m an Adventurer
- 86. Some Kind of Secret
- Some Kind of Secret
- 87. Can’t Lose
- Can’t Lose
- 88. The Nature of Absolution
- The Nature of Absolution
- 89. Anti-Pirate Operations
- Anti-Pirate Operations
- 90. The Path to Bronze
- The Path to Bronze
- 91. Life & Death
- Life & Death
- 92. Unusual Contract
- Unusual Contract
- 93. Truth
- Truth
- 94. Consequences
- Consequences
- 95. Punishment
- Punishment
- 96. You Don’t Get a Third
- You Don’t Get a Third
- 97. Integrity is Sexy
- Integrity is Sexy
- 98. The Point of Money and Power
- The Point of Money and Power
- 99. Someone Else’s Game
- Someone Else’s Game
- 100. Legwork
- Legwork
- 101. Fantasy World Goodness
- Fantasy World Goodness
- 102. You Fight Like Me
- You Fight Like Me
- 103. Silver Hair
- Silver Hair
- 104. An Outcome That Satisfies
- An Outcome That Satisfies
- 105. You Aren’t in Control of What Happens Next
- You Aren’t in Control of What Happens Next
- 106. Something Shady
- Something Shady
- 107. All the Good People We Can Get
- All the Good People We Can Get
- 108. You Don’t Have the Strength
- You Don’t Have the Strength
- 109. The Tyranny of Rank
- The Tyranny of Rank
- 110. Help Arrives
- Help Arrives
- 111. Strange Star
- Strange Star
- 112. The Accumulation of a Life
- The Accumulation of a Life
- 113. You Need to Work on Making Enemies
- You Need to Work on Making Enemies
- FROM THE PUBLISHER
- ALSO IN SERIES
- LitRPG
- LitRPG
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Emir said, keeping himself under control as his voice audibly teetered at the edge of breaking into a yell. “You are going to find Trenslow and tell him, along with anyone who objects, that I have personally placed him in charge of this camp. Then, figure out how to stay out of my sight, because if I ever see you again, I might just slap you so hard it changes your religion. Do understand what I’ve just told you?”
“I think so, sir. My family worships Vineyard, if that helps. He’s subordinate to the god of revels.”
“Oh, dear gods. Look, just tell me where I can find him.”
“The god of revels?”
“Trenslow, you cretin!”
* * *
Rufus trailed behind Gary and Jason at a distance for the rest of the day, the pair occasionally glancing back to make sure he was still there. Once darkness came, Jason and Gary made camp. They set out aura-suppressing tents that would shield them from the senses of unintelligent monsters and placed a warming stone that saved them making a fire. The arid air rapidly cooled once the sun went down, and while any adventurer could withstand it, they would rather not. Gary especially, as his fur had a natural ability to diffuse heat while offering little insulation.
Sitting on blankets on either side of the cylindrical heat stone, they were eventually joined by Rufus. His formerly blank expression now looked tired and haunted. They sat in silence for a long time before Rufus unexpectedly spoke.
“Remember that little village in the eastern reaches?” he asked Gary.
Gary looked at Rufus in surprise.
“The one with the flour mill?”
Rufus nodded and Gary burst out laughing.
“Am I missing something?” Jason asked.
“There was this flour mill,” Gary said. “Farrah wasn’t always so accurate with her unruly volcano powers and she blew up a flour mill. The explosion did kill the monster, though.”
“What kind of storytelling is that?” Rufus asked Gary. “You jumped right to the end.”
“If you want to tell it properly,” Gary said, “then tell it.”
“I will then,” Rufus said. “This was a few years ago, when Farrah and I had just hit bronze. Gary had been bronze for a few years when we met him, but he’d been slacking off.”
“I was focusing on my forge-craft, not slacking off.”
“So he claims,” Rufus said. “The three of us took this contract, way out in the eastern reaches. It was a long way and there weren’t a lot of takers, but it was a low-magic zone and we could go without supervision, so we accepted the contract.”
“I thought you told me coming out here was your first chance to take contracts without a silver-ranker over your shoulder.”
“Well, there was this one instance,” Rufus said. “It didn’t go very well.”