He picked a direction at random and set off.

“I really wish I had clothes on.”

* * *

Jason was walking through the maze, the map open in front of him. It was being unveiled as he walked. His current plan was to reveal enough that he could plot a way out. He froze when he heard a rustle in the hedges.

“Um, g’day?” he called out, hands moving to nervously hide his unmentionables. “Hello? Buenos días? Guten morgen?”

There wasn’t any response.

“Maybe it’s not morning. Guten tag?”

There still wasn’t any response.

“Yeah, Jason,” he muttered to himself, “that was the problem. You got the time of day wrong.”

He shrugged.

“Makes as much sense as anything else here, I guess.”

He was about to resume walking when a window appeared.

New Quest: [No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service]

For unknown reasons, your immediate area has become infested with lesser monsters.

Objective: Discover the reason lesser monsters have infested the area 0/1

Reward: Simple shirt.

Bonus Objective: Defeat ten lesser monsters 0/10.

Reward: Simple footwear.

“Monsters? That doesn’t sound plausible.”

Jason was looking around suspiciously when something small came hurtling from the bottom of a hedge. His hands shot back over his privates, which left his head an exposed target. He was blinded by something latching onto his face, something sharp digging painfully into his scalp. He yanked it off with both hands, screaming as a chunk of skin went with it. He dropped to his knees, slamming the thing into the ground, over and over until it stopped struggling.

You have defeated [Potent Hamster]

Defeat lesser monsters 1/10.

Jason released the creature and scuttled back, still on his hands and knees. His heart was racing, the wounds on his head throbbing. Blood trickled down his face and he wiped it away from his eyes.

“What in the merry hell is happening? How did a hamster jump on my head?”

Jason looked over at the creature. According to the window that popped up it was some kind of hamster, but was easily as big as Jason’s head. That made it bigger than any hamster he had heard of. It was distended from being pounded into the dirt, as well as streaked with blood from Jason’s head. He crawled forwards cautiously, ready to jump back. Extending a hesitant finger, he poked at it.

Would you like to loot [Potent Hamster]?

Jason rocked back, hands clutching his bald head. His fingers found his wound and he yelped in pain.

“What the hell is going on?”

2. Of Course Magic is a Thing

2

Of Course Magic is a Thing

Jason read the screen again.

Would you like to loot [Potent Hamster]?

“Yes?”