“Everyone has to find their own balance,” Farrah said. “For me, it’s about what is deserved. If I kill someone, then they had it coming. I know you didn’t like that we killed those cultists we captured when we cleared out the Vane house, but they definitely had it coming. But that’s my answer. You have to find your own.”

Jason nodded.

“I think…”

He sighed.

“I want my choices to make things better, rather than worse.”

“You want to be responsible for your own actions,” Farrah said. “I can respect that.”

“I think about Thadwick Mercer more than I should.”

“Why in the world would you think about him?”

“I’ve kind of shown him up a couple of times,” Jason said. “He’s just so witless and malevolent that I don’t feel bad about using him. It’s very satisfying. But an entitled guy like that, you make him feel even a little powerless and he’ll take it out on the people he has power over. How many members of the Mercer household staff were raked over the coals because I couldn’t help getting a few jabs in? What did those offsiders of his have to put up with after Thadwick made them refuse a contract?”

“I don’t imagine your intervention was required to get that boy to treat his people badly.”

“But expand that out,” Jason said. “Choices have consequences, and I’m making life and death choices now. How many fathers did I kill today? How many brothers, how many sons?”

Farrah pushed herself out of the chair and sat next to Jason on the couch.

“I think that as long as you keep asking yourself those questions,” she said, “then you’re going to be alright.”

They heard laughter coming from outside the room, and the door opened to let in Rufus and Vincent, the Adventure Society official with the enormous moustache. They were both slightly unsteady, and Rufus had a bottle of wine in hand.

“Jason,” Rufus said with the happiness of drink. “How did the job go?”

“Well enough.”

“That’s good,” Rufus said. He wandered over to the door to the balcony and went outside, Vincent in tow. Both men were normally more formal, so it was easy to spot the easy intimacy in their body language.

“When did that happen?” Jason asked.

“A while ago,” Farrah said. “You’ve been keeping yourself busy.”

“I guess I have,” Jason said.

“Coming to this city has been good for him,” Farrah said. “He’s more relaxed; there aren’t as many eyes on him. It’s hard to do better when everyone is watching your mistakes.”

“Good for him,” Jason said. “You know, I might go call on Cassandra. I could use a night out.”

83. It Makes No Difference to the Ant

83

It Makes No Difference to the Ant