Chapters (232)
- He Who Fights With Monsters
- ALSO IN SERIES
- 1. Strange Business
- Strange Business
- 2. Of Course Magic is a Thing
- Of Course Magic is a Thing
- 3. Local Cuisine
- Local Cuisine
- 4. Cannibals and Spelunking
- Cannibals and Spelunking
- 5. Wizard
- Wizard
- 6. Potent Potable
- Potent Potable
- 7. Spoils
- Spoils
- 8. Dark Magic
- Dark Magic
- 9. Escape
- Escape
- 10. The Evil Pit of Evil
- The Evil Pit of Evil
- 11. Dashing Heroics
- Dashing Heroics
- 12. Sanguine Horror
- Sanguine Horror
- 13. This is the Part Where We Step Back
- This is the Part Where We Step Back
- 14. Worlds Apart
- Worlds Apart
- 15. Outworlder
- Outworlder
- 16. Rescue Party
- Rescue Party
- 17. A Conservative Pillage
- A Conservative Pillage
- 18. One of Us
- One of Us
- 19. I Want a Lava Cannon
- I Want a Lava Cannon
- 20. By the Power of Grayskull
- By the Power of Grayskull
- 21. I Have the Power
- I Have the Power
- 22. Apocalypse Stone
- Apocalypse Stone
- 23. I May have Made a Huge Mistake
- I May have Made a Huge Mistake
- 24. Astral Space
- Astral Space
- 25. Blasphemy is Kind of My Thing
- Blasphemy is Kind of My Thing
- 26. Waterfall
- Waterfall
- 27. Water, Fall
- Water, Fall
- 28. How Did You All Fit In There?
- How Did You All Fit In There?
- 29. That’s What Adventurers Do
- That’s What Adventurers Do
- 30. Closing the Door Too Hard
- Closing the Door Too Hard
- 31. Taming the Beast
- Taming the Beast
- 32. Monster Hunting For Beginners
- Monster Hunting For Beginners
- 33. Mistrun River
- Mistrun River
- 34. Waving the Flag For Secular Morality
- Waving the Flag For Secular Morality
- 35. Greenstone
- Greenstone
- 36. The Island
- The Island
- 37. A Good Adventurer and a Great One
- A Good Adventurer and a Great One
- 38. Just Another Adventurer
- Just Another Adventurer
- 39. Training
- Training
- 40. Eyebeams and the Ethics of Adventuring
- Eyebeams and the Ethics of Adventuring
- 41. Vulnerable and Exposed
- Vulnerable and Exposed
- 42. This is the Pits
- This is the Pits
- 43. Nightingale
- Nightingale
- 44. Complimentary Ointment
- Complimentary Ointment
- 45. So Much For Atheism
- So Much For Atheism
- 46. Blatant Manipulation
- Blatant Manipulation
- 47. Mirage Chamber
- Mirage Chamber
- 48. An Endless, Inescapable Nightmare
- An Endless, Inescapable Nightmare
- 49. A Voice From Home
- A Voice From Home
- 50. The Full Keanu
- The Full Keanu
- 51. Song of the Nightingale
- Song of the Nightingale
- 52. Pain
- Pain
- 53. Nightlife
- Nightlife
- 54. Field Assessment
- Field Assessment
- 55. Rune Tortoise
- Rune Tortoise
- 56. Gary’s Gift
- Gary’s Gift
- 57. Rainbow Smoke
- Rainbow Smoke
- 58. A Man of Malevolent Intellect
- A Man of Malevolent Intellect
- 59. Falling Short
- Falling Short
- 60. Making Music
- Making Music
- 61. Trade Hall
- Trade Hall
- 62. Have Some Damn Adventures
- Have Some Damn Adventures
- 63. Sunk-Cost Fallacy
- Sunk-Cost Fallacy
- 64. Take My Wife, Please
- Take My Wife, Please
- 65. Curious Urges
- Curious Urges
- 66. A Stronger Weapon Than the One in Your Hand
- A Stronger Weapon Than the One in Your Hand
- 67. This is What it Means to Fight Me
- This is What it Means to Fight Me
- 68. Good News For Clive
- Good News For Clive
- 69. Dumpling Soup
- Dumpling Soup
- 70. Rewards
- Rewards
- 71. A Bit of Poo
- A Bit of Poo
- 72. Rat Race
- Rat Race
- 73. A Grim Sword to Live By
- A Grim Sword to Live By
- 74. Doing Better
- Doing Better
- 75. Progress
- Progress
- 76. Preparations
- Preparations
- 77. Group Cohesion
- Group Cohesion
- 78. Jason Has the Good Biscuits
- Jason Has the Good Biscuits
- 79. Sand Everywhere
- Sand Everywhere
- 80. It’s Not Work if You Love What You Do
- It’s Not Work if You Love What You Do
- 81. Crazy Desperation Move
- Crazy Desperation Move
- 82. Choices
- Choices
- 83. It Makes No Difference to the Ant
- It Makes No Difference to the Ant
- 84. Injury & Death
- Injury & Death
- 85. Because I’m an Adventurer
- Because I’m an Adventurer
- 86. Some Kind of Secret
- Some Kind of Secret
- 87. Can’t Lose
- Can’t Lose
- 88. The Nature of Absolution
- The Nature of Absolution
- 89. Anti-Pirate Operations
- Anti-Pirate Operations
- 90. The Path to Bronze
- The Path to Bronze
- 91. Life & Death
- Life & Death
- 92. Unusual Contract
- Unusual Contract
- 93. Truth
- Truth
- 94. Consequences
- Consequences
- 95. Punishment
- Punishment
- 96. You Don’t Get a Third
- You Don’t Get a Third
- 97. Integrity is Sexy
- Integrity is Sexy
- 98. The Point of Money and Power
- The Point of Money and Power
- 99. Someone Else’s Game
- Someone Else’s Game
- 100. Legwork
- Legwork
- 101. Fantasy World Goodness
- Fantasy World Goodness
- 102. You Fight Like Me
- You Fight Like Me
- 103. Silver Hair
- Silver Hair
- 104. An Outcome That Satisfies
- An Outcome That Satisfies
- 105. You Aren’t in Control of What Happens Next
- You Aren’t in Control of What Happens Next
- 106. Something Shady
- Something Shady
- 107. All the Good People We Can Get
- All the Good People We Can Get
- 108. You Don’t Have the Strength
- You Don’t Have the Strength
- 109. The Tyranny of Rank
- The Tyranny of Rank
- 110. Help Arrives
- Help Arrives
- 111. Strange Star
- Strange Star
- 112. The Accumulation of a Life
- The Accumulation of a Life
- 113. You Need to Work on Making Enemies
- You Need to Work on Making Enemies
- FROM THE PUBLISHER
- ALSO IN SERIES
- LitRPG
- LitRPG
Humphrey glanced over to his familiar, who was sitting proudly next to a ratling, dead at his feet. As soon as it saw Humphrey notice it, it transformed into a dog and bounded over for Humphrey to scratch behind its ear. Humphrey walked back to the group through the field, his body drenched in monster blood. The others gave him a wide berth, except for Jason.
“You alright?” Jason asked. He knew Humphrey had killed monsters as part of his training, but he also knew Humphrey was a kind man. Violence didn’t come naturally to him.
Humphrey nodded. His normally friendly smile was macabre on his bloody face.
“That’s what I like about you, Jason,” he said. “You don’t pretend that what we do doesn’t affect us.”
“I don’t think being numb to it all makes you strong,” Jason said. “Strong is accepting the choices you make and owning up to the consequences.”
Like Jason, Humphrey had a dimensional storage space, from which he took a bottle of clear liquid and tipped it over his head. The crystal wash flowed over him, eliminating every trace of blood and filth.
“I’d like to be strong like that,” Humphrey said. “You know, Jason, sometimes it’s like you’re from another world.”
Jason had long ago realised that Danielle had figured him out, not realising she hadn't shared it with Humphrey. He decided to tell his friend all about it when they had the time. For now, they were surrounded by other people. Vincent looked Humphrey over, now clean, the crystal wash rapidly evaporating.
“You got them all,” Vincent said.
“Yes, sir,” Humphrey said.
“Burned a good portion of a farmer’s crop, though.”
“I thought the farmer would rather lose some harvest now than family later,” Humphrey said. “I made a choice.”
“Yes you did,” Vincent said, putting a hand on Humphrey’s shoulder. “Good job.”
55. Rune Tortoise
55
Rune Tortoise
The routine for the field assessment was to stop in a town or village each night. In the morning they would collect monster notices from the adventuring board and set out to deal with them. Vincent took an approach where the would-be adventurers who met his standards were no longer called on for the monster hunts. Starting with Humphrey, the first three days saw four of the seven candidates move from participants to onlookers.
On the third morning, they were delayed in one of the towns Jason had passed through on his original journey to Greenstone. Vincent wasn't willing to turn away the quickly growing crowd of earnest sick people, so the town constable once again turned his office into a makeshift clinic.