Chapters (232)
- He Who Fights With Monsters
- ALSO IN SERIES
- 1. Strange Business
- Strange Business
- 2. Of Course Magic is a Thing
- Of Course Magic is a Thing
- 3. Local Cuisine
- Local Cuisine
- 4. Cannibals and Spelunking
- Cannibals and Spelunking
- 5. Wizard
- Wizard
- 6. Potent Potable
- Potent Potable
- 7. Spoils
- Spoils
- 8. Dark Magic
- Dark Magic
- 9. Escape
- Escape
- 10. The Evil Pit of Evil
- The Evil Pit of Evil
- 11. Dashing Heroics
- Dashing Heroics
- 12. Sanguine Horror
- Sanguine Horror
- 13. This is the Part Where We Step Back
- This is the Part Where We Step Back
- 14. Worlds Apart
- Worlds Apart
- 15. Outworlder
- Outworlder
- 16. Rescue Party
- Rescue Party
- 17. A Conservative Pillage
- A Conservative Pillage
- 18. One of Us
- One of Us
- 19. I Want a Lava Cannon
- I Want a Lava Cannon
- 20. By the Power of Grayskull
- By the Power of Grayskull
- 21. I Have the Power
- I Have the Power
- 22. Apocalypse Stone
- Apocalypse Stone
- 23. I May have Made a Huge Mistake
- I May have Made a Huge Mistake
- 24. Astral Space
- Astral Space
- 25. Blasphemy is Kind of My Thing
- Blasphemy is Kind of My Thing
- 26. Waterfall
- Waterfall
- 27. Water, Fall
- Water, Fall
- 28. How Did You All Fit In There?
- How Did You All Fit In There?
- 29. That’s What Adventurers Do
- That’s What Adventurers Do
- 30. Closing the Door Too Hard
- Closing the Door Too Hard
- 31. Taming the Beast
- Taming the Beast
- 32. Monster Hunting For Beginners
- Monster Hunting For Beginners
- 33. Mistrun River
- Mistrun River
- 34. Waving the Flag For Secular Morality
- Waving the Flag For Secular Morality
- 35. Greenstone
- Greenstone
- 36. The Island
- The Island
- 37. A Good Adventurer and a Great One
- A Good Adventurer and a Great One
- 38. Just Another Adventurer
- Just Another Adventurer
- 39. Training
- Training
- 40. Eyebeams and the Ethics of Adventuring
- Eyebeams and the Ethics of Adventuring
- 41. Vulnerable and Exposed
- Vulnerable and Exposed
- 42. This is the Pits
- This is the Pits
- 43. Nightingale
- Nightingale
- 44. Complimentary Ointment
- Complimentary Ointment
- 45. So Much For Atheism
- So Much For Atheism
- 46. Blatant Manipulation
- Blatant Manipulation
- 47. Mirage Chamber
- Mirage Chamber
- 48. An Endless, Inescapable Nightmare
- An Endless, Inescapable Nightmare
- 49. A Voice From Home
- A Voice From Home
- 50. The Full Keanu
- The Full Keanu
- 51. Song of the Nightingale
- Song of the Nightingale
- 52. Pain
- Pain
- 53. Nightlife
- Nightlife
- 54. Field Assessment
- Field Assessment
- 55. Rune Tortoise
- Rune Tortoise
- 56. Gary’s Gift
- Gary’s Gift
- 57. Rainbow Smoke
- Rainbow Smoke
- 58. A Man of Malevolent Intellect
- A Man of Malevolent Intellect
- 59. Falling Short
- Falling Short
- 60. Making Music
- Making Music
- 61. Trade Hall
- Trade Hall
- 62. Have Some Damn Adventures
- Have Some Damn Adventures
- 63. Sunk-Cost Fallacy
- Sunk-Cost Fallacy
- 64. Take My Wife, Please
- Take My Wife, Please
- 65. Curious Urges
- Curious Urges
- 66. A Stronger Weapon Than the One in Your Hand
- A Stronger Weapon Than the One in Your Hand
- 67. This is What it Means to Fight Me
- This is What it Means to Fight Me
- 68. Good News For Clive
- Good News For Clive
- 69. Dumpling Soup
- Dumpling Soup
- 70. Rewards
- Rewards
- 71. A Bit of Poo
- A Bit of Poo
- 72. Rat Race
- Rat Race
- 73. A Grim Sword to Live By
- A Grim Sword to Live By
- 74. Doing Better
- Doing Better
- 75. Progress
- Progress
- 76. Preparations
- Preparations
- 77. Group Cohesion
- Group Cohesion
- 78. Jason Has the Good Biscuits
- Jason Has the Good Biscuits
- 79. Sand Everywhere
- Sand Everywhere
- 80. It’s Not Work if You Love What You Do
- It’s Not Work if You Love What You Do
- 81. Crazy Desperation Move
- Crazy Desperation Move
- 82. Choices
- Choices
- 83. It Makes No Difference to the Ant
- It Makes No Difference to the Ant
- 84. Injury & Death
- Injury & Death
- 85. Because I’m an Adventurer
- Because I’m an Adventurer
- 86. Some Kind of Secret
- Some Kind of Secret
- 87. Can’t Lose
- Can’t Lose
- 88. The Nature of Absolution
- The Nature of Absolution
- 89. Anti-Pirate Operations
- Anti-Pirate Operations
- 90. The Path to Bronze
- The Path to Bronze
- 91. Life & Death
- Life & Death
- 92. Unusual Contract
- Unusual Contract
- 93. Truth
- Truth
- 94. Consequences
- Consequences
- 95. Punishment
- Punishment
- 96. You Don’t Get a Third
- You Don’t Get a Third
- 97. Integrity is Sexy
- Integrity is Sexy
- 98. The Point of Money and Power
- The Point of Money and Power
- 99. Someone Else’s Game
- Someone Else’s Game
- 100. Legwork
- Legwork
- 101. Fantasy World Goodness
- Fantasy World Goodness
- 102. You Fight Like Me
- You Fight Like Me
- 103. Silver Hair
- Silver Hair
- 104. An Outcome That Satisfies
- An Outcome That Satisfies
- 105. You Aren’t in Control of What Happens Next
- You Aren’t in Control of What Happens Next
- 106. Something Shady
- Something Shady
- 107. All the Good People We Can Get
- All the Good People We Can Get
- 108. You Don’t Have the Strength
- You Don’t Have the Strength
- 109. The Tyranny of Rank
- The Tyranny of Rank
- 110. Help Arrives
- Help Arrives
- 111. Strange Star
- Strange Star
- 112. The Accumulation of a Life
- The Accumulation of a Life
- 113. You Need to Work on Making Enemies
- You Need to Work on Making Enemies
- FROM THE PUBLISHER
- ALSO IN SERIES
- LitRPG
- LitRPG
“Yes,” Humphrey said. “Our mothers arranged him becoming my familiar. Or me becoming his person, depending on how you look at it.”
“Your mum knows dragons,” Jason said. “I guess mine does too, although it’s more of a metaphor. Great Aunt Margaret doesn’t literally breathe fire.”
Humphrey laughed. “You’re here to be assessed for the Adventure Society, I take it?”
“Yeah, I did all the paperwork yesterday,” Jason said. “Any idea of what to expect?”
“They'll just check to make sure you don't have any restricted abilities. There'll be an official from the Adventure Society, of course, but they're only there to oversee things. The actual checking will be done by a priest from the church of knowledge. Don't try to slip anything past them, because there isn't any point.”
“Because a god’s involved?”
“Exactly. Then there'll be someone from the Magic Society to record your essences. They'll imply you have to let them record all your individual abilities, but you actually don't. I'm told that the trick is to let them know that you know you don't have to and then do it anyway. Getting on the good side of the Magic Society is always a good idea.”
“Thanks for the advice.”
“If you’ve awakened any of your racial gifts, though, keep those to yourself,” Humphrey advised. “They’re very big on those at the Magic Society and you can trade the details in exchange for favours down the line.”
Jason recalled Farrah telling him that humans all had dormant racial gifts that awakened unique powers based on their essences. He assumed the same advice would hold true for his outworlder abilities. More so, if anything.
“Good to know,” Jason said. “Much appreciated, mate.”
“I hope you don’t mind me saying,” Humphrey said, “but your manner of speech is a little unusual. Are you using a translation power?”
“I am,” Jason said. “I’m not local; I just arrived in town yesterday.”
“Where do you hail from, originally?” Humphrey asked.
“Australia.”
“Never heard of it,” Humphrey said. “Best not tell Mother or she’ll harangue my geography tutor. Does everyone there shave their eyebrows.”
“I didn’t shave them,” Jason said. “I lost them.”
“How do you lose your eyebrows?”
“It’s been an odd couple of weeks.”
A door opened and the canary on Humphrey's head morphed back into a puppy, its front paws dangling over his forehead. Humphrey lifted it down as a man entered the room. He was wearing what Jason had come to recognise as local business attire, quite different from the equivalent in his own world. The local fashions all went for loose, hanging designs that were more practical for the hot climate.
“Young Master Geller,” the man said to Humphrey, not so much as glancing at Jason. “This is, of course, a formality for you, but the formalities must be observed.”