Back Haunted Honeymoon Save as PDF
Chapters (26)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue
  6. oneLove to Blood You, Baby
  7. twoGood Help Is Fine to Bite
  8. threeOnce Bitten, Twice Snide
  9. fourAn American, a Broad
  10. fiveMy Fair Vampire
  11. sixBite Me, Spank Me,Make Me Bite Your Neck
  12. sevenBlood the One You’re With
  13. eightLove Lies Bleeding
  14. nineDance with the She-Devil
  15. tenIs That a Stake in Your Pocket, orAre You Just Happy to See Me?
  16. elevenCountrycide
  17. twelveHeadshrinkers, Blood Drinkers,Mental Blinkers
  18. thirteenOnce Bitten, Twice Snide
  19. fourteenYou’re No Body Until SomebodyBloods You
  20. fifteenShrinks, Kinks, and Drinks
  21. sixteenZombies and Vamps, Oh, Please
  22. seventeenThis Is Your Brain Unplugged
  23. eighteenDead Reckoning
  24. nineteenFly Me to the Loon
  25. twentyGet Me to the Club on Time
  26. Back Cover

This room was a bright and shiny state-of-the-art laboratory. There were long, black lab tables with mysterious equipment and stainless steel exam tables. There were two slanted aluminum tables with faucets and drains—autopsy tables. One wall was lined with small doors, like drawers in a morgue. The acrid smell of chemicals came from drains set into the floor.

One wall seemed to display aquariums, but when I looked closer, I saw human organs and limbs suspended in a viscous neon yellow solution that slowly bubbled.

A fuzzy striped tail hung out from a red biohazard bin.

A man in a lab coat was watching a stock market report on a small television by his computer station.

“Wassup?” the lab guy said to Average Joe, and then he stared at me and grimaced in disgust.

“Can you give me a couple of hours?” Average Joe said.

“Wouldn’t you rather have a clean body? I can give you a good deal on some intact ones.” He waved to a giant metal door and said, “That blonde is still in the chill room, nice and fresh.”

“The Professor’d have you whacked if he knew you touched her,” Average Joe said. “I’ll hose this bitch down first.”

His smile scared me more than all of his shouting ever had. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small plastic bag with blue pills. “For your weekend jollies. I just had mine.”

The lab guy took the bag and said, “I’ll be back later. Put her out of sight when tonight’s meat shipment gets delivered and don’t leave a mess.” He picked up a pack of cigarettes from his desk and left the room.

The doors closed, leaving me alone with Average Joe. I shuffled back against one of the steel tables.

“Scream if you want,” Average Joe said with a laugh. “Hell, it’s always more fun when they scream.”

In that second I imagined all the victims in his past and all the victims in his future, and I knew that Ian had been right about me all along. “You’re not going to hurt me and you’re not going to hurt anyone else ever again.”

“Whaddaya gonna do about it?” He smiled and raised the big flashlight as he came toward me, leaving his face vulnerable.

I swiftly brought my cuffed fists up against his jaw. As he staggered back, I smashed my fists as hard as I could into his belly.

He fell on the floor, and I bent over him and grabbed his head and twisted until I heard a crack, the most horrible sound that I’d ever heard.

I couldn’t look at Average Joe’s slack face as I reached for the ring of keys on his belt. I sorted through them quickly and found the cuff key and then the key that released my leg shackles.