Back Haunted Honeymoon
Chapters (26)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue
  6. oneLove to Blood You, Baby
  7. twoGood Help Is Fine to Bite
  8. threeOnce Bitten, Twice Snide
  9. fourAn American, a Broad
  10. fiveMy Fair Vampire
  11. sixBite Me, Spank Me,Make Me Bite Your Neck
  12. sevenBlood the One You’re With
  13. eightLove Lies Bleeding
  14. nineDance with the She-Devil
  15. tenIs That a Stake in Your Pocket, orAre You Just Happy to See Me?
  16. elevenCountrycide
  17. twelveHeadshrinkers, Blood Drinkers,Mental Blinkers
  18. thirteenOnce Bitten, Twice Snide
  19. fourteenYou’re No Body Until SomebodyBloods You
  20. fifteenShrinks, Kinks, and Drinks
  21. sixteenZombies and Vamps, Oh, Please
  22. seventeenThis Is Your Brain Unplugged
  23. eighteenDead Reckoning
  24. nineteenFly Me to the Loon
  25. twentyGet Me to the Club on Time
  26. Back Cover

This was just the occasion to wear my new black leggings, a black tank, a jacket with lots of pockets, and black tennis shoes. I put my hair in a bun and shoved a lot of bobby pins in it in case I needed to escape from handcuffs. I pulled on a black beanie, which made me look as if I had a giant tumor on my head.

My plan wasn’t very good, but it was the only one I could think of that wouldn’t endanger anyone else.

When darkness came, I drove the truckasaurus toward the south end of the City, and after some searching I found the sewer pipe where I’d left Average Joe’s keys. I had to reach into muck, but they were still there.

I drove to a block of shut-up warehouses near the Professor’s facility. I parked between two buildings, with the truck facing toward the street, and left my keys in the ignition so I could make a fast getaway.

After putting on my backpack, I jogged on dark and empty streets until I saw my destination. A few lights were on at the perimeter gate and on the second floor, where I thought the Professor had his living quarters.

There was an olive green post office drop box across from the property. I watched as the guard patrolling the grounds walked back into the building, and then I dashed to the drop box and hid behind it.

Several minutes later, I heard the engine of the nightly delivery van, and then I saw its headlights.

When the van turned into the facility’s driveway, I ran so that I was hidden behind it on the passenger side. The gates slid open, and I kept pace with the van as it crossed the lot and entered the garage. Once inside, I dropped to the cement floor and rolled under a vehicle.

I heard the van’s engine stop, and then clanking as the driver opened its doors. While he unloaded his cargo, I crawled to the car parked closest to the lab.

Waiting is hard. One of the cat clones found me under the car and curled beside me. I pet its soft fur while the minutes passed. I heard the delivery van driver say “See ya,” then doors closing. The engine started and the van drove off.

I peeked out from under the car. The garage was empty. I crept out and found the Professor’s car. When I clicked the transponder key to unlock it, the beep echoed in the garage, but no one came. I unlatched the trunk but didn’t raise it, and left the driver’s-side door slightly ajar.

Then I made my way to the autopsy room door and pressed myself flat against the wall in the shadows. To stay calm, I thought about Don Pedro’s story and the chapters I had yet to write.