Back Haunted Honeymoon
Chapters (26)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue
  6. oneLove to Blood You, Baby
  7. twoGood Help Is Fine to Bite
  8. threeOnce Bitten, Twice Snide
  9. fourAn American, a Broad
  10. fiveMy Fair Vampire
  11. sixBite Me, Spank Me,Make Me Bite Your Neck
  12. sevenBlood the One You’re With
  13. eightLove Lies Bleeding
  14. nineDance with the She-Devil
  15. tenIs That a Stake in Your Pocket, orAre You Just Happy to See Me?
  16. elevenCountrycide
  17. twelveHeadshrinkers, Blood Drinkers,Mental Blinkers
  18. thirteenOnce Bitten, Twice Snide
  19. fourteenYou’re No Body Until SomebodyBloods You
  20. fifteenShrinks, Kinks, and Drinks
  21. sixteenZombies and Vamps, Oh, Please
  22. seventeenThis Is Your Brain Unplugged
  23. eighteenDead Reckoning
  24. nineteenFly Me to the Loon
  25. twentyGet Me to the Club on Time
  26. Back Cover

I took off my cotton gloves to grip the branches as I demonstrated, and a large thorn caught on the back of my hand. It ripped my skin, and the jagged cut welled with glossy ruby blood.

“I’m so careless,” I said, and licked away the blood, revealing skin that suddenly mended over. It was as smooth as if it had never been damaged. “Holy cow.” I held out my hand for Lily to see.

She stared in amazement. “I heard you healed fast, but I’ve never seen anyone heal that fast.”

“It’s because I’m a superhero, right?”

“No.”

*   *   *

After Oswald returned we had cocktails on the terrace. AG and Mrs. Grant seemed much cozier than they had when I’d first met them. She handed him the first limoncello martini and he raised it to her before taking a taste and looking out to the horizon.

“Perfect,” he said. “Is this what I’ve been missing all these years?”

“It was your decision,” she said.

He smiled a crooked smile like Oswald’s. “Grant men are helplessly drawn to impossible women.”

Gabriel said, “That’s why I didn’t even bother with women. Although if I did, the Young Lady would be at the top of my list.”

“Thanks, Gabriel. If I was a gay guy, you’d be at the top of my list, too.”

Mr. Grant looked at his ex-wife and said, “Sometimes the world is too modern for me.”

“AG, you were old-fashioned when you were twenty,” she said. “I think your body finally caught up with your mental age.”

“You always called me a fuddy-duddy.”

“Did I?”

“I could tell some stories …,” he began, and Mrs. Grant glanced in my direction and said, “This is not the time.”

The conversation turned to other topics, and I shared my weird experience about healing from the cut. “The question is, how can I use my super powers for good?”

Edna started laughing and Oswald said, “You don’t actually have any powers,” and Lily said, “That shouldn’t be a concern right now,” all of which I found very discouraging.

After dinner, Oswald asked if anyone wanted to go for a swim. I wanted to be with him, but I panicked just thinking about the pool. Why did the pool’s clear water hold such darkness for me?

“I’m going to write tonight. Don’t worry about me.”

“I’d love a swim,” Lily said.

I went to the maid’s room and wrote feverishly, filling up page after page, until my fingers cramped. I put the pen down and it rolled off the desk. When I bent down to retrieve it, I saw my initials scratched into the underside of the desk. Beside them was daisy, rip.