She’s not usually so violent with the dog. But then, it doesn’t normally come into the kitchen; it’s usually running free, digging, chasing rabbits, or us. I look at it, poor thing, hunting its tail and biting down hard on it, an act that surprises it each time so that it yelps in pain. I ask Mama if I can go out for a walk with the dog, and she says that the man will be along soon and I’m not to mess up my hair or dirty my clothes.

‘What man?’

‘Stop with the cheek.’

‘Who is this man?’

‘Stop asking questions, you’ll find out soon enough.’

There’s a stretched, strained silence, broken only by the dog’s incessant twirling and yelping.

‘More tea?’ Mama asks.

I push the chair away from the table, the bockety leg trailing on the ground, screeching. Mama winces as I go to the door and open it, breathing in gulpfuls of thick, stagnant air. Speed builds up inside of me until I find I have pushed off the ball of my right foot and burst into a run. The dog follows, and Mama’s voice follows still, ‘Come back, Nico. He is a nice man, you will see.’

I race to our tree and stop only long enough to press my body against the old fellow’s reassuring trunk, fingertips reaching a third of the way around. The familiar smell of tobacco and leather envelop me, reminding me of when I was small and used to sit on Papa’s lap, my smooth cheek against his whiskery one. My heart is thumping against the wood, reverberating in my mouth and ears. The wind rustles the leaves so it sounds as if they’re whispering to me, telling me to run further into the forest where the trees are closer together and the branches lower to the ground. The air is getting thin and cool, the leaves forming a canopy above my head so no sky is visible.

We run and run until the hound flops onto the forest floor. I stretch out beside it, and all I can hear is our jagged breaths, at times together, at times apart. ‘Good dog,’ I say, as it stretches out a paw towards me. It sleeps easily as I lie awake staring up at the dense green cover above me. Was this how it was for Mama? Is this why she is so angry?