‘Would you like to go to school here?’ she says. ‘You are obviously very good at languages,’ and she smiles, the corners of her eyes crinkling at the sides. ‘What would you like to be, Nicoleta? Have you ever thought about what you would like to be when you grow up?’

I stare out the window at the fat drops of rain that stick and slide down the pane like translucent slugs. ‘Think about it, and if you have any ideas in the next few days, you come to me and tell me.’

I prefer to think about this. This woman is not trying to make me talk about the men.

‘Have you ever been to the seaside, Nicoleta? Would you like to go?’

I think about the portholes on the first boat, the second boat sitting in the sea, and my heart speeds. Then, I think of Papa’s words to me ‘… lucky girl, you will see the sea … I have always wanted to see the sea …’ I think of Sammy’s promise about us getting there one day, being tumbled in the waves so fast our brains would be washed clear. We would swim in, and swallow down, the rain.

‘There’s a bus going this afternoon, and I will be on it. You are welcome to join,’ Lou says.

Before I leave I slip a silver pen, like a silver bullet, into my pocket.

The bus is tall and the windows are foggy. I go upstairs and Lou follows and sits in beside me. I flatten myself against the window so I don’t have to feel any part of her touch me.

‘Is this very different from your country, Nicoleta?’ she asks as she leans across and clears a patch on the glass with her shirt-sleeve. Not so different. No. The grass is greener and shinier here, and the cows are fat. The sky is almost always overcast though. At home it is constantly changing, high to low, shades of purples, blues and yellow, but then I realise I have only been here for one season, one harvest.

‘There it is, look,’ Lou says. I follow the line of her finger over her shoulder and see a body of grey water.

Papa, the sea is neither black nor blue.

I can hear his voice: ‘Like the night sky turned upside-down. Imagine that, Nico?’ Well, Papa, here it is: a murky day-time sky, fallen to earth. Imagine, swimming in wet clouds.

The bus stops and we get out. We walk towards the edge of the sea, where the water is licking the sand, and Lou takes off her shoes and socks.