“I admire that about you. Your responsibility. But at the same time, maybe things will change. Maybe time will heal the hurt. Maybe the two of you had to fall apart in order to realize how much you need to fall back together.”

“I think we more like exploded apart rather than fell. There was nothing graceful about it,” I mutter.

He chuckles. “You’re making jokes, that’s a good sign.”

“Jokes are all I have.” I shrug and avert my eyes from his, because the sympathy in them might just be my undoing.

“Chase?”

“Hmm?” I look out the window at the skyline beyond.

“Look at me.”

The room falls silent as the weight of his stare hits me. When I finally look up, there is a soft smile on his lips. He too understands.

“Why does it hurt so much?” I finally admit. “Just when I think I’m over that hump, I get sucked right back down into the despair again.”

“Only the ones who are worth it hurt that much.”

“That doesn’t help,” I say and rub the heel of my hand to my chest.

“I hurt your mom once.”

“You were married. Of course, you did. It’s not normal to be with someone that long and not have a fight,” I say. Although, I really don’t remember there being much fighting in our house.

“No, it was before the marriage part.” He picks up the small frame I have on my desk of her and smiles bittersweetly at the image of her, young and smiling. “Your mom and I had a falling out. And being a guy, the first thing I did was go out with the guys to get drunk. To pretend I wasn’t at fault and to bury the pain I saw in her eyes.”

“What did you do?”

“What didn’t I do?” He laughs. “It’s taken many years and a lot of her love to make me the refined man you see today.”

“Oh please,” I say but smile, loving how he still talks about her all these years later like she’s still here, still a part of our lives.

“I kissed another woman.”

I stare at my dad as if he’d grown two heads. “You what?” I shriek, shocked.

“I never claimed I was smart, Chase.” He chuckles. “We had been dating for a few months when we had a fight. It was over her father thinking I wasn’t good enough to be with her, and I believe she told me I needed to step up to the plate and be that man then.”

I smile through the tears. “That sounds like Mom.”

“It sounds like you,” he murmurs and holds my gaze.