I’m not justifying that as an excuse for what Finn did to me, but at the same time . . . didn’t I just screw someone over just as badly? Didn’t I hurt Gunner like Finn hurt me? It’s not like you can rank lies and deceit on a scale, but didn’t that happen in both instances?

Who am I to ask Gunner for forgiveness if I can’t look at Finn and give a little as well?

My sigh is loud.

Christ. Maybe Gunner has changed me. Made me into a better human.

I take my first step toward my car when my cell phone ringing startles me out of my thoughts.

But when I look at the screen, I can’t move fast enough to answer it.

“Gunner.” My heart leaps into my throat, and I don’t give a shit that I sound desperate and breathless when I say his name—because I’m both. “Hi.”

There’s silence, and I’m almost afraid to breathe for fear of ruining it.

“I wanted to call to say thank you,” he finally says, his voice raspy, timid, but freaking music to my ears. I blink back the tears and, before I can find my voice to speak, he continues. “A huge shipment of donations arrived at The Center today. It was unexpected and incredibly generous, so yeah, I wanted to thank you for arranging that.”

“The kids deserve it. It’s an incredible program you’ve created and run.” I take in a fortifying breath. “How are you?”

“They’ll be excited when they see it later.”

His voice is stoic. No emotion. And not even when I first met Gunner did he sound so . . . empty. Passionless.

I did that to him.

My hope crashes.

This is the only reason he’s calling.

Not to talk about things between us.

Not to let me explain.

But purely because he has good manners and it’s the right thing to do.

“Gunner?”

“I’ve got to go, but I wanted to thank you.”

“Okay.” My voice squeaks. I try not to start crying as I walk through the parking lot to my car.

But rather than him ending the call like I expected, there’s another long silence that stretches between us.

“You know the one thing I can’t wrap my head around?” he asks and my feet stop. “Was it all a lie, Chase? Did you look at me and see a sucker who could be manipulated, or did we ever really have a chance? Because when you love someone, you don’t go into it knowing you’re going to hurt them at some point. And that’s what you did. You loved me, you let me love you, knowing you were going to hurt me . . . and that’s something I can’t bring myself to get over.”